Reasons for Being, Reasons for Living
by paris1601
Summary: AU: Formerly Raison d' Etre. What is your reason for being? What is your reason for living? TRC gang lands in Clow Country. Animeverse. SS, mild KuroFai and TouYuki if you want it.
1. Chapter 1

_I know this could never happen in TRC, what with the current development in the series, but this was a plot bunny that wouldn't go away. Admittedly, slightly OOC Fai and Kurogane. I'm writing this in celebration of my lover's giving me the DVD collection for the entire second season of Tsubasa.  
_

_You all know the drill, TRC isn't mine and I'm not making any money off it. :-) Comments and criticisms are accepted and wholeheartedly appreciated.  
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**Raison d'etre**

**I**

The sky above the marketplace bulged inexplicably, as if threatening to fall. The townsfolk panicked at the sight, but not for the right reasons. The flurry was not so that they could escape from whatever threat the strange stratospheric distortion signified, but rather for preparations of some sort. By the time the bulge burst open and the party of two popped out, their landing spot was already covered with layers of cushions and silk.

The tall darkly clad man was the first to hit the ground and feel the soft silk around him. "What the--?" he was about to voice out his surprise, but was quickly silenced when his breath was taken away by the solid weight of a lanky blond "mass of wizard" falling squarely on his stomach.

"Thanks for breaking my fall, Kuro-tan!" the blond chirped happily, giving "Kuro-tan" a big smile of appreciation. He felt the softness that surrounded them and found a very good reason to ignore the dark man's shouts of 'Get off me, you idiot, and call me by my proper name!' He glanced around and noticed the townsfolk looking at them expectantly. "We're receiving a rather warm welcome, aren't we?" He turned back to the man on whose stomach he had decided to keep sitting on, "You should watch your language, Kuro-pin, there are children about."

"You're not the princess," a disappointed voice rose up from the crowd.

Another person spoke up. "Yeah, who are you?"

"Princess?" Fai glanced at his companion. "Could they be talking about Sakura?"

Kurogane's eyes narrowed as he examined the crowds. He shoved Fai off him and felt for Souhi. He cursed when he realized he had left his sword with the meatbun. "I don't know..."

"But they were expecting us or this princess to appear in this manner," the magician pointed out as he prepared himself for the situation where the people might attack them. He sat up. The crowd was quickly getting restless. "Which means they know—or at least someone here knows—about jumping between worlds."

"What did you do with the princess?" from the crowd that was quickly becoming enraged.

"Since I can understand you, it means that the manjuu and the kids are somewhere close by," Kurogane added as he weighed their options. The disappointed and suspicious crowd was closing in on them. "We should get out of here and find them."

"Get them! They have the princess!"

The tension in the people quickly peaked and all it took was one angry cry to send the mob after the two of them. Fai had been closer to the onlookers and was therefore the easier target to reach. The magician barely had the time to dodge the first strike headed at him.

Fai was easily restrained and Kurogane had to wonder if he even attempted to save himself. But, nevertheless, the idiot could be beaten to death and if that happened...

"I hoped it wouldn't come to this!" Kurogane lunged to help his companion. "Fight them you stupid magician!" he shouted as he pushed aside those who assailed him.

Fai kept his smile. He didn't even use his arms and legs to protect himself from the numerous blows raining at him. "I don't see how I could do that, Kuro-pon."

"Stop this."

As it took one cry to produce the angry mob, it took only one command to dissipate them.

"Sire!" came the collective gasp and the men holding Fai down let him go. Kurogane was finally given a chance to reach Fai and he stood between the magician and the awestruck crowd.

The man who was able to control the crowd was a charming young man with gleaming silver hair and dazzling golden eyes. "We have the Princess Sakura and Syaoran. They are in the palace, resting," he addressed the people. A kind smile graced his features and his next words were meant more for the two foreigners than for anyone else in the area, "There is nothing to worry about."

Upon hearing that their beloved princess was already with this young man, the people immediately became apologetic to the pair they had attacked and the populous literally began buzzing with excitement. Kurogane remained suspicious, keeping up his defensive stance for both himself and the injured blond. Fai, on the other hand, seemed preoccupied with something—something about this newcomer who was wearing long light robes that bespoke status and ceremony. The staff he held told Fai that he was a user of magic as well.

The golden-gazed man approached them. "I am the High Priest Yukito," he said as he held out his hand in friendship. "You're in Clow Country."

-

"It makes sense," Fai was saying as he and Kurogane were escorted through the palace of King Touya. "I do remember Syaoran-kun saying that it was the High Priest Yukito who sent him and Sakura-chan to the Dimensional Witch's place."

"But is this the right Yukito?" Kurogane muttered, still not letting down his guard on account of their odd welcome. "We've seen enough worlds to tell us that there are a lot of the same people appearing in different worlds. And if this isn't the right Yukito, then he could be working with those people who the girl says are watching us since he knows about us traveling between worlds."

Fai was pensive for a millisecond, "That's true." But the millisecond was quickly over and his trademark grin returned. "But Syaoran-kun and Sakura-chan would be able to tell for sure! Kuro-kichi is always so serious."

"You should try it sometime, too," Kurogane grunted as they came face to face with a large door.

The doors opened to reveal a large dining room. The table was covered with a lot of sumptuous food. Though he would never admit it—despite the fact that it was painfully obvious—it was a great relief to Kurogane to see Sakura and Syaoran seated around the table with a dark haired young man. But, he couldn't help but think that there was something missing.

"Kuro-ponpon!"

Suddenly, Kurogane couldn't breathe on account of the suffocating white fur that suddenly covered his nose and mouth. He pulled the offending thing off him. "What do you think you're doing!?"

"Don't mind him," Fai opened his arms for the white meatbun with ears to jump into. "He's just grumpy cause we weren't welcomed as nicely as you were."

Kurogane looked like he was about to bite Fai's head off, "You're understating the situation!"

"Tsk. Kuro-chan, you're so loud."

"That's because nothing I say seems to get through that thick head of yours!"

On the other hand, Sakura was very happy at that moment as she watched Syaoran from the corner of her eye. Despite the fact that she still had quite a number of feathers missing from her memory, she remembered enough to be comforted by this place she called her home. Her gaze wandered over to her brother who was scrutinizing her companions with a critical eye, then to Yukito who was watching Fai and Kurogane with unhidden amusement. She knew her troubles weren't over, but it was just nice to be home with her dearest friends—especially those from other worlds. She suppressed a giggle when Mokona imitated Kurogane's voice and said, "Yes, I'm in denial, mommy."

Then, she noticed a large bruise, previously hidden by long blond bangs, beginning to form on Fai's fair skin.

"Oh, Fai-san! You're hurt!" Sakura immediately ran over to the Celes mage's side examining the injury. Syaoran stood up, too.

The silent brunet with piercing eyes sitting at the table stayed quiet and still, but threw a questioning glance over at the priest. Golden eyes were quickly redirected away from the familiar brown gaze. The brunet frowned slightly at this, but still said nothing.

Yukito walked over to Fai and Sakura and gently drew the worried princess away from the mage. "The people thought that they did something to you, princess," he said, fixing his eyes on Fai's bruise. He then gave Sakura a remorseful look. "They didn't mean to harm your friends. I'm sorry I wasn't there on time."

"Yukito-san..."

Fai quickly cut in. "Don't worry about it, Sakura-chan." Though the mage appeared to ignore the raven-haired youth at the table's apparent bristling at the familiar moniker, he made a mental note of it. "Your people were just worried about you. Nothing serious happened."

Sakura was not convinced. "Are you sure?"

"Yeah," Fai reassured the princess with his trademark grin.

Though she was well aware that Fai was sugar-coating things for her, she decided not to press the issue. It was only when Sakura heard her brother clearing his throat rather conspicuously that she remembered that she had not introduced her companions, yet. "Oh, I'm sorry!" she stepped back so Kurogane and Fai could see her brother. "Oniisama, this is Fai-san and Kurogane-san," she presented the two travelers with a wave of her hand. "And Fai-san and Kurogane-san, that is my brother Touya and his friend, Yukito."

"So, since you're the princess," Fai pointed a finger at Sakura, and then swept it over to her big brother. "That would mean he's the king."

Kurogane resisted the urge to smack Fai upside the head and settled for once again yelling at the magician. "Stop being so impolite, you damn mage!"

As Kurogane was so eloquently lecturing Fai on his manners, the blond bowed politely for King Touya, then waved at him with a happy, "My name is Fai D. Flowright. It's an honor to meet you, your Majesty," leaving his lips. Seeing that Kurogane had finished yelling at him about the same time he finished greeting the king, he grinned up at the ninja who was still glaring at him post-shout. "You should watch your language and tone, Kuro-wanwan, we're in the presence of the king of Clow Country."

In the millisecond it took the red-eyed shinobi to find a retort, Fai managed to interrupt him by saying, "Now, be a good puppy and greet King Touya properly and apologize for being so loud."

Finding that proper court etiquette was more important than scratching his proverbial itch to slowly tear Fai apart one limb at a time, Kurogane bit back his anger and bowed for the king. As he grumbled out his, "Pleased to meet you" and "My apologies for the antics this idiotic magician has caused," he found very tempting images of Fai having very intimate contact with his sword dancing through his head.

Despite his stoic appearance, Touya was smiling inwardly. During his life in court, he had developed a talent for reading the people he met during the first few moments of their encounter. Though he would never admit it out loud, he was glad that these people were with Sakura on her journey through the worlds. By the looks of things, they were very much capable of taking care of Sakura and the brat during their mission. It eased his mind a little knowing that his little sister was in good hands.

Now, there was something else on the young king's mind. He glanced at his high priest and best friend, Yukito. For the past few days, the other youth was distracted and even a bit depressed. Now, he was strategically avoiding the king's gaze. Touya was making a mental note to have a long talk with Yukito when Sakura's blond friend yelped in pain.

"Kuro-pin's so rough!"

"I didn't even touch you!" the darker man growled.

"Ooooooooooow!!!"

"Oh, Fai-san!"

Touya noted the tones of concern and suspicion in the red eyes of this other companion of Sakura's. He also saw that whatever discomforts the foreign magician felt, he was tolerating just fine. But why put up an act? He decided to go with the flow to see. "Your injuries," he said to the blond. "They should be tended to."

Fai gave the king a reassuring look and a sunny expression. "It's nothing to worry about, your Majesty," he said. Then, without missing a beat, he added, "I'm sure the high priest can get me patched up in no time."

Yukito nearly jumped out of his skin at the mention of his name. His mind had been wandering these past few minutes. As he recovered from his surprise, he nodded slowly, "Of course, right away, if it's alright with out, Heika." He made it a point to not look in Touya's direction as he said this. He wanted to hide the fact that he was desperate to the leave the room and be anywhere else.

Touya frowned in suspicion. Something was bothering Yukito and to make matters worse, the blond was up to something. "Go ahead."

"I'm sorry you had to go through that, Fai-san," Syaoran was saying as Fai and Yukito left the room.

The king resisted the urge to follow, the pair out of the room. He knew something was up, but what could it be?

-

"If something happens to you, Sakura-chan will be sad."

Yukito looked up from the salve he was making fresh from some herbs from the palace gardens. He and Fai were now alone in one of the guest rooms. He had found the perfect excuse to stay away from Touya for a while. Yukito chose to stay away from the palace infirmary and attend to the injured foreigner himself. "I'm not sure I understand you, Fai-san."

Fai waved a dismissive hand. "Oh, nothing. I was just thinking that you're probably very important to the royal family," he said with a laugh. "You're the king's most trusted friend and you must do a lot for the kingdom as well, being the high priest and all."

"Who told you that?" Yukito tested the consistency of the salve.

"Sakura-chan."

"Oh," the high priest of Clow chuckled. "Don't let heika-sama hear you call Sakura-hime that. He's very protective of his sister."

Fai grinned, "I noticed."

"I take it you use magic as well," Yukito ventured. He had observed the interactions between Sakura, Syaoran, and their companions earlier and had made a mental note that the darkly clad male had, on more than one occasion, addressed Fai as a magic user.

Blue eyes darkened almost imperceptibly as the empty smile twitched to a slightly more pensive version of itself. "I was a magician in a king's court like you. But, I think our jobs were pretty different."

Yukito finished his task of mixing up the herbs. He sat on a stool beside Fai. "How so?" he asked as he tested the consistency of his concoction one last time before applying the salve on the blond's bruised cheek.

Fai looked wistful more than anything else as he stared at his hands. "Different worlds need different rulers. When a world is as peaceful as yours, your ruler can afford to be as kind as he is."

"Your world," the high priest of Clow began. "What's it like?"

By this time, Fai was already lost in a sea of memories. His voice was distant as he answered, "It's was cold. It was very cold."

-

"Execute her."

The words resonated throughout the majestic throne room. The look on Fai's face as he glanced at his beloved king was one of both fear and worry. "Ashura-ou," he murmured quietly, examining the stony expression on the sovereign. He knew better than to believe the callous stare that watched without remorse as the woman—the mother of three—who sold critical information to enemy states was led out of the room screaming. The woman was sobbing uncontrollably and was doing her best to struggle free of the guards holding her captive. Along the sidelines, the two daughters and one son of the woman along with a few other friends, begged for their mother's life and pleaded for mercy from the king.

"Please, sir, she's the only parent we have left!" the eldest daughter called out to the general direction of the Celes king and his most powerful magician. It wasn't clear to whom she was appealing to, but it was most probable that he was talking to the mage with the kind eyes.

Ashura-ou stood in order to direct all attention on himself, thus saving Fai from having to say anything on behalf of the condemned woman. "Silence," he ordered the murmuring crowd and hysterical family. And everyone, except the sentenced prisoner who was beyond consolation, obeyed. Ashura-ou fixed the guard holding the mother with a meaningful look and the guard understood and struck his prisoner effectively reminding her to mind her place. The eldest daughter cried again for her mother, but was warned by an older member of the community to hold her tongue. When the room was relatively silent, the ruler of Celes spoke in a clear strong tone, "Let this be a warning to anyone who is considering to betray our kingdom. There will be no salvation for you if you do so," he addressed the guards. "Now take her away from my sight."

The warning was heard and heeded by all. And with a single command, Ashura-ou sent all the people gathered at his court to leave and return to their responsibilities. There was a war at hand. Every minute they lost in preparation was gained by their opponents.

When the people who had witnessed the judgment had left, Ashura-ou fell back on his throne, allowing the only remaining person in the room to witness his exhaustion. "Come, beside me, Fai."

"Ashura..." the blond moved closer to the throne and took the other man's hand into his own in a comforting gesture. "...are you alright?"

"I keep on reassuring myself that it needs to be done," Ashura-ou tugged slightly at his magician's hands signaling the other to move down so they could be face to face. When Fai knelt beside his throne, he turned to stare deep into Fai's blue eyes as if searching there for answers. "But, she is another casualty of this war. Her blood, like the blood of so many others, will forever stain my hands."

Fai smiled sadly, "We're stained together," he said. "You, I, and everyone else who keeps participating in this war, but it can't be helped in this world. We do what we can to protect the people and help them survive."

For the first time since the woman's case had been brought before him, Ashura-ou smiled as he used his thumb to trace Fai's lips. "Yes, we have to do what we can," he said. "I can continue to be the man they fear and hate, but need for protection, but I ask you to be the man by my side that they look to for mercy and learn to love and confide in. Can you do that?"

The request surprised the magician and the gravity of it both honored him and weighed down on him, but, "I live to serve you, Ashura." He did not say those words out of duty. He meant them from the bottom of his heart. Ashura-ou was his beloved king. And Fai, he served out of love for his king in the same manner that he lived for this love. His life, like Ashura-ou's, revolved around the kingdom and its people.

"Good," Ashura-ou held on a bit more tightly to Fai's hands, despite his command. "Now, please see to the children of the condemned woman. Find them a place that will care for them if they cannot take care of themselves and make sure nobody hurts or judges them for the actions of their mother."

Fai rose from his position, "I'll do that," he bowed slightly and put on his most comforting smile. "And I promise I will come back to you, Ashura," he gently extricated his fingers from his king's.

"Thank you, Fai," the dark-haired sovereign watched as his magician and only friend in the kingdom begin to walk away. He laughed softly when he was directed a puzzled look. "Thank you for always smiling. You don't know what a treat your smile is for me."

Fai's smile only widened.


	2. Chapter 2

_**The title means "Reason for being". I think it's included in the lyrics of one of the songs of Chobits. I hope the meaning of the title becomes clear in the next few chapters.**_

**Raison d'etre**

**II**

Yukito stared resolutely at the solitary candle sitting at the small table in front of him. He closed his eyes and took deep breaths in order to focus himself. His grip on his staff was tight as he lifted it in front of him. A ring of magical symbols etched in silver light appeared at his feet as his own aura bathed him in a beautiful glow that was reminiscent of moonlight.

"Come forth, FIRE!" the high priest shouted out the command and with a burst of power, a small flame flickered to life near the wick of the candle. The tiny piece of string quickly caught fire and stayed lit even as the young mage set his staff down. "That's good," Yukito said to himself as he surveyed his next test. The floor of his entire room was covered with candles, standing ready to be lit.

_I can still do that. I know I can do this, _he widened his stance slightly to stabilize himself further, then readjusted his grasp on his staff. He closed his eyes again and took deep calming breaths...

-

Fai forced himself to deny that he was feeling homesick. He had been staring out at the desert landscape of Clow Kingdom. He couldn't help but think that though Clow Kingdom seemed to be the exact opposite of Celes, it reminded him so much of his homeland. _Or, perhaps it's just that high priest..._

"Fai-san?"

Fai quickly replaced his smile when he heard Sakura's voice at the door. "Oh, Sakura-chan," he called out without moving from his spot by the window. "The door's open. You can come in." He added, "And Big Puppy and Little Puppy, too," when he saw Syaoran and Kurogane behind the princess.

"What about Mokona?" the white manjuu bun bound into the room from out of Sakura's arms.

"Of course, you can come in, too, Mokona," the blond magician was happy to welcome the dimension-crossing creature onto his lap.

Syaoran spoke for the group as he walked into the room, "How are you feeling?"

"I'm still a bit sore and I'll be black and blue for a while," was the chirped reply. "It's nothing, really."

"I'm sorry you had to go through that, Fai-san," Syaoran apologized, feeling responsible for every bit of trouble the group had during their travels.

Fai waved a hand in a cheerfully dismissive manner, "Don't worry about it. Yukito-san's medicine is working really well and I barely feel any pain."

"We decided to stay here for a while, anyway," Mokona piped up from Fai's lap. "Even Kuro-tan agreed that you need to rest."

It was the immediate reaction from Fai that made Kurogane regret coming with the children and the manjuu bun to the blue-eyed man's room. He really wasn't comfortable having an affectionate blond mass glomping him and joyfully proclaiming that, "Awwww!!! Kuro-ponpon looooooves meeeeee!!!"

Though he resisted the urge to throw the idiotic leech that lacked manly pride to the other side of the room, he couldn't help but yell, "Get off me and stop calling me stupid names!"

"You don't have to delay because of me, Syaoran-kun," Fai managed to say over Kurogane's angry exclamations. He glanced over at the white fluff. "Is there a feather anywhere here?"

Mokona appeared a bit perplexed. "I can feel strong magic everywhere, but I can't be sure if there's a feather."

"I see," Fai nodded then addressed Syaoran. "So you want to investigate some more?"

"It's not just that," Syaoran replied.

It was Sakura that explained the decision. "I also wanted to look around again. This is my home and I don't really remember much about it," she told Fai, a slight hint of sadness in her voice. "I just want to make a few more happy memories about it before we go on our way..."

"Then go make them, Sakura-chan. Don't worry about us, we'll be fine," Fai gave Sakura a genuinely encouraging smile. His tone took a playful hitch when he added as an afterthought, "And Syaoran-kun will be there making those wonderful memories with you, now won't you, Syaoran-kun?"

The younger boy flushed a rather unique shade of red at the expectant look Sakura was giving him, "Uh...yeah, sure, of course, princess."

"Well, it's settled then," Fai clapped his hands, then picked up Mokona and handed the manjuu to Sakura. "You go out and enjoy the sights. I'll be fine here."

It took little convincing to actually get Syaoran, Sakura, and Mokona out of the door, but Kurogane was a different story. When the kids finally left at Fai's prodding, Kurogane stubbornly stayed behind, a dark, silent figure constantly studying the blond mage's every move.

"Why, Kuro-min!" Fai acted surprised when he turned to look at the ninja. "Are you really that worried about me? You're going to watch over me?"

"Stop acting like an idiot, wizard. What are you up to?"

"What are you talking about, Kuro-kuru?" Though he knew it wasn't fooling anyone, the said wizard still used his most innocent and confused voice. He tilted his head to one side as if to emphasize his point.

Kurogane covered the ten-foot separation between him and the magician in two strides just to get in the other's face literally. He wanted to be close enough to read the blond's eyes. He wanted to be close enough to see every small nuance of real emotion on the blond's face. He also wanted to make sure that he was close enough so that the blond couldn't run. "Stop acting coy," he gritted out, grabbing the mage's arms. He resisted the urge to shake the frail being he had cornered so as not to hurt him anymore than was necessary particularly because he detected a well-hidden wince under the constructed grin. "You don't normally show how much pain you're in. What is going on?"

Knowing his mask was quickly falling apart, Fai lowered his eyes, not entirely comfortable with Kurogane's unwavering stare. "I don't know what you're talking about Kuro-myuu."

Kurogane released one of his captive's arms and used his newly freed hand to force the other man's face to turn up towards him. "Look at me and say my name properly, wizard," he ordered.

It was a very hypnotic moment for Fai. The way his chin was being held left him with no choice but to meet the red gaze. The intensity of the moment left him weak and under Kurogane's spell. When he finally found his voice, he managed to stutter out, "K—Kuro...gane."

"Now, what is going on in that head of yours..." Kurogane hesitated for a millisecond before continuing on to add the proper address. "...Fai?"

Fai felt woozy. Despite how carefully the words were spoken, despite the long pauses in between each sentence, despite the fact that time could have stopped at that moment, he felt as though everything was spinning so fast and beyond his control. "Don't you have things that you just can't talk about?" his tone was akin to begging, searching for some form of understanding from the ninja.

"Secrets are weaknesses. Once your enemy knows your secret, it becomes a liability," Kurogane declared gruffly as he let Fai go. He had heard the plea quite clearly. He knew that it was more than likely that the reason for the magician's evasive behavior was a painful experience. He didn't want to add to that trauma. He just wanted the truth.

Fai's line of sight immediately dropped consequently shielding his expression from the ninja with a curtain of sun-kissed hair. To Kurogane, he looked like an animal waiting to be hit. So, the next words were said much more gently, "I can't afford that. Not with the things I have to do."

"It's not that I don't want to tell you things, Kuro-pon. And it's not just you, the kids and Mokona, too," Fai set his eyes on some far off point in the Clow landscape. "It's just that I can't..."

Kurogane said nothing, not even about the stupid nickname. He just waited for Fai to finish.

Blue eyes scanned the horizon, as if expecting some ill omen to appear, "I know how weak and useless I am. You don't have to tell me. So I understand if you hate me."

"You're not completely weak," Kurogane informed him. "And you're definitely not useless." He quickly amended, remembering how he often said those words, "You can be really annoying at times and you do a lot of pointless things, but you're not useless." He tried to see the effect of his words, but Fai seemed to be lost in his own thoughts. The ninja went on anyway, "I'm not asking you to be strong. Toughen up a bit. Not even a brick wall can support something that can't hold itself together."

These words lightened up the mage's mood and brought him back to reality. He finally found the courage to face Kurogane again. He also found the resolve to avert the discussion to something he was more at ease with, "So, you really don't have secrets, Kuro-chu?"

With Fai so close to his face and given the innuendo of the question, the ninja's cheeks suddenly matched his eyes.

"Not even a secret love?" Fai pressed, amused by the ninja's response.

Kurogane's entire face flushed beet red, though it wasn't really clear whether it was out of embarrassment or rage. "That's none of your business, you nosy magician!" he roared backing away a bit as the mage sidled closer to him.

"Is it someone I know?"

"Leave me alone, you damn wizard!"

"Aaaaaaaawwww!!! Kuro-kichi is in looooooooove!!!"

-

"It's no use," the silver-haired young man fell to the floor, weary and defeated. He knocked over some of the candles that he had earlier carefully arranged around him. There was no need for them now.

Tears began to form in his golden eyes, "Just when Touya needs me the most..." he sobbed. "...I'm useless to him. I've no right to stay by his side now that I can't serve him."

He buried his face in hands and silently shed tears.

-

Old man Clef, the most powerful magician in Clow next to the legendary king Clow Reed was the stuff of legends himself. But, despite his magical capabilities, Clef and Clow agreed that Clef should not stay in the palace to become the high priest. He had a more important duty to attend to.

There was a young boy born to his son Ferio who needed to be guided accordingly.

"In this universe, there are those who fulfill the inevitable, there are those who are devices for that fulfillment..." Clef smiled warmly as he placed a small hand on the silver head of the young boy who was almost as tall as he was. "...and there are those who create those devices for fulfillment. Remember that, Yuki."

Yukito just blinked up at his grandfather innocently. "What's the inveta—inetavi—" the young tongue stumbled over the word, but the wizened old man understood perfectly.

"The inevitable, my child, is something that will happen no matter what," Clef explained, brushing away some of the silver hair falling over Yukito's fair cheeks. "No one will force you to go anywhere you don't want to go or do anything you don't want to do," he reassured his grandson. "But time will come when you realize that there are things you should do, although you don't understand why." And the future so full of sacrifice that Clef knew lay ahead for his grandson broke his heart so that his speech trembled slightly.

Despite his very shallow comprehension of the words spoken to him, Yukito could still understand the undertones in the old man's voice. This worried him somewhat and made him curious. "Grandfather?"

"When you're with that person you were meant to live for, you will know," was all Clef could say about the future.

It was the very next day that king Clow came over to take Yukito to the palace to visit crown prince Touya.

-

He wasn't exactly sure when he stopped crying and when he began staring at the single lit candle on the table. But when he regained his senses, the candle had burned to almost half of its original length and a soldier was quietly knocking at his door.

"Yukito-sama? Yukito-sama?"

Yukito picked himself up, blew the fast fading candle out, and headed for the door of his room. He took a moment to remove and clean his glasses and check his appearance for any telltale signs of his despair before stepping out of his room. "I'm sorry for making you wait," Yukito forced out a small smile when he saw that there was no anxiety in the soldier's face. There was no emergency in the kingdom. "What is it?"

"Heika-sama wants to see you in the gardens," the soldier replied.

His face might have fallen, despite his best efforts, but Yukito still found it in him to thank the soldier before returning to his room to ready himself to answer his king's summons.

-

"You called for me, Heika-sama."

Touya sighed in exasperation, "Yuki," he began in a slightly reprimanding manner. "How many times do I have to tell you that you can call me by my name when we're not in public?" And they really were in the privacy of the royal gardens. There was no one around and guards only patrolled the area at night. "We played here as children. Doesn't it feel strange to you to call me 'Heika' here?"

"A bit," Yukito admitted making sure he was at a respectful distance from his childhood friend. "But we weren't king and high priest back then, although I always felt special being able to play with the then prince of Clow."

"You know," Touya was nostalgic for a moment. "My father told me about you even before we met. He told me that you would be like the moon. You would share your gentle light during my and Clow Kingdom's darkest hours. I didn't understand that completely until Sakura lost what she did and had to go on that quest."

"Touya?"

The king took off his crown and closed the gap between him and his high priest. He held out the golden band to the silver-haired youth for closer inspection. "Does this make me any less human? Does it suddenly turn me into a being with no need for friends or any other form of companionship?"

"Well, no," Yukito was taken aback by the question and didn't find the presence of mind to take what was being handed to him.

"So why are you suddenly so distant?" the king replaced the crown on his head. "Is there something bothering you?"

The high priest shook his head. "It's not something you should be concerned about."

"What's the point in being the king if you can't help others, especially the ones you care about?" the brunet of the two pointed out. "You're very important to me, Yuki." He reached over and hugged the other youth tightly. "Please, we both know that Sakura won't stay long. Don't leave me now."

Yukito looked like he was about to cry as he answered, "Of course, Touya. I'll do everything I can to stay by your side." He swallowed the lump that had formed in his throat before saying, "I promise."

**_Like it? Hate it? OOCness about? Feel free to tell me. It's now officially AU, because there is no real place for it in the timeline. I might not be around for another long while so I opted to post the second chapter up much earlier than expected._**

_**Thanks to Elenath for the review, by the way. I checked out your fic, 'Collide' and it's absolutely adorable.**_

_**Thanks for reading! Hope you enjoyed it.**_

_**-paris**_


	3. Chapter 3

_In celebration of the wonderful TRC Chapitre 146, I give you Chapter 3. ...Wow! I finally caught up with the manga! Sick days are awesome... I'm pretty sure that whatever CLAMP has in store for us for Fai's past is so much more creative than whatever I could come up with. Apparently, it's not something that can be easily shown on TV—read that somewhere. Makes me wonder...what CAN'T you show on TV these days?_

_I changed the summary again. I dunno. I can't find the right words to express what this story is about. _

_**Nagisha-chan, **thanks for the review. I hope this chapter turns out lovely as well._

_**Animestar73, **wow, so many pairings. Thanks for reviewing._

**III**

Fai stared at the stars that covered Celes' night sky. He had an entranced look in his eyes that suggested that he was dreaming. But dreaming he was not. He was actually reading the fortune of his homeland based from the patterns of twinkling lights.

And what he was predicting was far from a dream.

No matter how many times he read and reread the stars and the planets, there was only one fortune for Celes. Despite his magic, no matter how much he willed the mapped out future to change, the doom of Celes was already written.

"Reading fortunes again, Fai?" an all too familiar baritone inquired from behind him.

Fai turned and bowed for his king. Before fully straightening himself, he took a moment to admire the beauty that was his sovereign. Ashura-ou looked like he belonged to the heavens amongst the stars and not in this dying land. "Yes. It's because I couldn't sleep," he replied with his usual smile. Not an outright lie. If anyone knew what he knew, that person would probably lose a lot of sleep, too.

Ashura-ou gazed up at the stars Fai had been reading. "What do you see up there?" he inquired, not really expecting an answer. "It's such a beautiful sky, Fai, it's so hard to imagine any misfortune being predicted from it."

Fai paled a bit, so he was grateful that Ashura-ou was not looking.

"The most beautiful faces are often the most deadly."

At the words, the magician's head snapped up to look at his king in surprise. Ashura-ou's expression was still serene, but there was something darker behind his calm. "I can read fortunes from the stars, too," Ashura-ou reminded the blond. "There will be a great tragedy soon. The omen is very clear."

"I'm sorry, Ou-sama," Fai lowered his gaze. His fortune was also quite clear in the stars. He was meant to go on a journey. He was reluctant to leave the man he had always believed he was born to stand beside, but he needed to go or else what should happen would not happen. It was for a good far greater than he could fathom. He was apologizing not only for not being straight with the king about his prophesies about the kingdom, but also for what he would have to do in the future.

The dark-haired man tipped his subordinate's chin up with graceful fingers. "Just remember that your place is here, by my side," he spoke softly, a feral curl touching his lips. "And if you dare forget your place, I will see it as the greatest of betrayals and will not hesitate to stain my hands with your blood."

Fai was frightened, but he reflexively smiled as he often did in court when intimidated. "I understand, Ou-sama."

As Ashura-ou left, Fai couldn't help but think that he was more afraid of adding to the guilt Ashura-ou already felt than dying.

-

"Fai-san?"

Yukito knocked tentatively on the blond's door checking if it was open.

It was open.

Fai was an intensely private person in terms of disposition, but he was already programmed to make it look as if he hid nothing from the world. Therefore, his doors were always open. He plastered on his seemingly permanent smile as he yanked his thoughts and gaze from the Clow scenery and his memories of Celes. "Yukito-san. I'm feeling much better now. Thank you."

"That's good to hear," the high priest of Clow set down the medical supplies he had brought on the dresser. "But, just because you feel better, doesn't mean you should stop treatment. I hope you don't mind the intrusion."

Blue eyes remained deceivingly bright, "It's all right. I'm the one who's being an imposition by getting treatment from you."

"It's quite all right," Yukito began putting together the different salves he used to make injuries heal faster. "Besides, you don't know what the next world might be like."

"Oh," Fai waved his hand, still smiling. "We'll manage." He avoided mentioning that he and the others had been through far worse scrapes than being mobbed by a group of angry villagers looking for their princess. There really was no point in worrying Sakura's brother's dear friend.

Yukito began examining the well-formed bruise on Fai's cheek. It had gotten bigger and turned an angry shade of purple. He then applied one of his ointments to it. "This should reduce the swelling by tonight," he explained unnecessarily. He started again as if he just remembered something, "By the way, Touya-heika has requested yours and Kurogane-san's audience this afternoon in the dining room."

"Kuro-sama and I will be there," Fai reassured the other man. "Thank you, Yukito-san," he expressed brightly as Yukito began packing up. "And if you need anything I can help you with, don't hesitate to ask."

The undertow in Fai's voice caught Yukito off-guard. He wondered what the other mage knew. "Thank you," he replied. "I'll keep that in mind."

-

"Strange occurrences in the kingdom?" the young palace guard Yamazaki scratched his head as he and his girlfriend, Chiharu walked through the streets of Clow with Syaoran and Sakura. Mokona couldn't be sure about the presence of a feather, and that meant that Syaoran and Sakura had to find things out the old fashioned way. Touya had insisted that the couple be accompanied. "Well, just last week, I was patrolling the palace and there was a strange light coming from the hallway. I ran to investigate, but when I got to where the light was coming from, it was gone and there was no one there."

"Was it a ghost?" Mokona piped up from Sakura's arms.

"I'm not sure," Yamazaki replied. "Maybe it was."

"The princess' feathers could turn up in so many different ways," Syaoran was pensive.

"But if the feather was in the palace, Mokona would have known," Mokona reminded Syaoran.

"Are you sure you're not just making that up?" Chiharu glared pointedly at her lover. "The princess and Syaoran-kun are on an important mission, you can't mislead them with your tall tales."

Yamazaki grinned widely and said, "It's really true!"

But Chiharu quickly struck her lover upside the head. "Stop making things up!" Yamazaki just laughed and they kept on walking, with Syaoran seriously contemplating Yamazaki's story. So Chiharu said, "Don't think anything of it, Syaoran-kun, Yamazaki was just kidding." She led them through the streets until the company of four arrived at a fountain that had been made for the people to enjoy and get water from. The fountain wasn't running and the water in the pool was fast receding. "This is the only strange occurrence that I can think of," Chiharu informed Syaoran and Sakura. "This fountain has always been overflowing with water, but lately, it's been like this. We still have other water sources, so it isn't a cause for worry, but it seems strange that it's dwindling like this."

"Do you sense the feather, Mokona?" Syaoran asked.

Mokona shook its head. "No. There's strong magic here, but I can't tell whose it is or where it's coming from."

"Didn't Yukito-san make this fountain?" Sakura asked Chiharu.

"Yes, he did," Chiharu replied.

"Some even say that he made it overflowing with water using magic," Yamazaki added.

Chiharu hit her boyfriend again, "I told you to stop making things up!"

"But I wasn't, this time!" Yamazaki protested. He rubbed his head. "You're getting better at hitting me, Chiharu. It's starting to hurt."

"Do you really want to feel pain?" Chiharu retorted, balling up her fists.

Yamazaki held up his hands in surrender and shook his head. Mokona cheered happily that Yamazaki and Chiharu were all "lovey-lovey" making Chiharu blush deeply.

Sakura looked at Syaoran. "Syaoran-kun?"

"It may be nothing, but Chiharu-san may be right about this one," Syaoran said. "But, don't worry, princess, we'll figure things out and see if you have a feather in this world."

"Syaoran!" Mokona called out. "Something strange is coming from over there." The white Mokona pointed towards a direction that Syaoran immediately determined to be the general direction of the infamous ruins.

But Syaoran did not have time to answer the magical meat bun as Yamazaki cried out, "The wind has shifted!" The alarm in Yamazaki's rarely serious demeanor quickly stole Syaoran and Sakura's attentions. "Syaoran-kun, we have to get the girls somewhere safe! A sandstorm is coming."

"Another one?" Chiharu held on tight to Sakura's hand. They were too far away from the palace to take shelter there.

Syaoran was the first to act, "My house isn't far from here." He took Mokona from his princess then led the small party through the streets. The houses of the other Clow citizens were already shut tight. When Syaoran thought about it, they'd been shut tight while they were going through the city. He hadn't really noticed, but there were few people out, and those out barely even acknowledged them.

In the past, everyone would have been happy to see Sakura and would have greeted her with big smiles and little gifts.

Upon reaching the house Syaoran once lived in, he gave Mokona back to Sakura while he and Yamazaki methodically checked the seals of the tiny home. Syaoran immediately noticed the wear. How many storms had his house been through since he had left?

"I'm not sure if this is enough, but that'll have to do," Yamazaki announced as he settled at the center of the room, beside Chiharu. "The storms that have been coming in these past few months have been getting stronger and stronger."

Syaoran handed a pair of goggles and a mask to his princess. "Just in case," he told her, but his voice was drowned out by what sounded like rolling thunder. Sakura quickly put on what Syaoran had given her. The others only had goggles, but they were hoping that they would be protected by the house and their clothing.

Syaoran held on tight to his princess while Yamazaki shielded Chiharu from whatever possible onslaught.

"Syaoran-kun..." Sakura's voice in Syaoran's ear sounded more apprehensive than she normally was.

"What is it?" Syaoran inquired and he felt something soft and warm touch his arm. When he looked down, he saw that Mokona had, for some unknown reason, passed out. He wondered what could have put the magical creature to sleep. If this storm was caused by magic meant to harm them, they would have no means of defending themselves. But he met Sakura's eyes by chance and he steeled himself and erased all negative thoughts from his head. He couldn't lose hope or fear or fret. He had his princess to protect. He strengthened his grip on Sakura.

Boards that Syaoran had known to hold fast during sandstorms gave way one by one, and the four refugees had to duck low to avoid getting hit. Syaoran used his cape to cover his nose and mouth as sand poured in through the small window.

When Chiharu began to choke on sand, Sakura did not hesitate to give up her mask for the sake of the other girl. Her mask was quickly replaced by the edge of a tattered dark cape.

The rumble of the sand and other types of debris pelting the tiny house filled the air for what seemed like an eternity.

---

"You're not worried?" Yuuko asked a bespectacled boy of about twelve as he watched Sakura, Syaoran, and their escorts helplessly accept the wrath of the desert storm.

The boy did not even flinch as he watched the scenes in the distant world unfolding before him. "I believe in their will to live. Syaoran-kun will not let any harm come to the person he lives for," he replied. "And, they're so close to that place that Fei Wong Reed will not attempt anything. If he tries anything, he might end up making Sakura lose all the feathers they have already gathered..."

"...and she might not survive that this time around," Yuuko finished his sentence. "Then, all this would be for nothing."

"That's true," the boy replied. "And there is also that thing which prevents any interference from any of us."

"You wouldn't interfere, either way, now would you?" Yuuko smiled at her companion.

"It's like you always say, Yuuko-san," the boy spoke with a wisdom far beyond his age. "There is no such thing as coincidence..."

"...there is only the inevitable," the dimensional witch touched the cool glass of the window where the images of Clow Kingdom were being reflected.

---

_**Okay, Chapter 4 quote:**_

"_Call it a mother's instinct!"_ - Fai


	4. Chapter 4

_Coolness! I'm writing faster than usual. Maybe it's because I'm trying to write this before CLAMP releases their story about Fai's past, cause when that comes out, I'll want to rewrite everything..._

_...that's just the way I am._

_**nagisha-chan**, thanks again for the review. I'm working hard to make the chapters as good as I can for all who read them._

_**DemonUntilDeath**, I certainly hope I can keep you interested. Thanks for the review._

_Well, this is chapter four. Please enjoy!_

**Raison d'Etre**

**IV**

To the young Yukito, the palace was as vast as the desert that surrounded their small country, and hence was equally frightening to be in. As he and Clef walked through the large halls at the trail of a tall man with beautiful black hair, he couldn't help but feel dwarfed and vulnerable. He stayed close to his grandfather, hiding behind the old man's billowing white cloak. He tried to keep his gaze directed at the floor, but couldn't help but take curious little peeks every now and then at his surroundings. The floors were made of and intricately patterned mosaic of shiny rocks and black stone. It was beautiful and, with what little Yukito saw of the rest of the palace, was well-fit with the rest of the place.

The man and his grandfather moved through the halls at a solid, business-like pace and were talking in hushed tones. Yukito had been taught not to listen and not to interrupt whenever adults spoke like that, so he did his best to be quiet and stay out of sight.

He was a bit surprised when his grandfather stopped walking.

"Yukito," the man with black hair smiled kindly at the intimidated little boy. "Do you know who I am?" The tone was deep and indulgent.

Yukito stood there, mesmerized so Clef gave his grandson a gentle pat on the back to bring the boy back to reality to answer the question.

"Yes, sir," Yukito replied shyly. "You're Clow-heika-sama of Clow Kingdom..." he hesitated a moment, trying to choose the right word to call the king before continuing, "...Sir."

"That's right," Clow crouched to Yukito's level making the boy take a step back into the folds of his grandfather's cloak. "Now, you don't have to be afraid of me."

This made Yukito draw away from Clef a small bit.

"What do you think of the palace?" Clow asked again.

Yukito flushed slightly, still overwhelmed by the experience. He had been taught that the king was a great man and great men didn't talk to little people like him and his grandfather. "I...I think..." he turned to his grandfather for guidance, and received an encouraging nod. The king waited patiently as he stumbled over his answer. "I...It's beautiful, sir," Yukito finally blurted out.

"I'm glad," Clow straightened up. "Because this palace will be your home now. Would you like that?"

The boy nodded, though he wasn't sure what he really thought about the idea.

"Clef, would you mind if I left you here for a while?" Clow inquired.

"Not at all, your highness," Clef glanced at the child. "Yukito and I have some matters to discuss."

Clow was understanding, so he left the other two on their own.

"Yuki," Clef, for the first time since they came to the palace, faced his grandson. "When you live here in the palace, I won't be with you."

Golden eyes widened, "Why, grandfather? If you're not coming with me, then I won't come and live here!" His earlier ambivalence about living in the palace was quick to be replaced with reluctance. He was frightened by the beauty of the place, by its scale and its majesty. It would be lonely and scary without his grandfather by his side.

"You have to," there was sadness in Clef's voice, like that of a man who needed to say goodbye, but couldn't. The words made Yukito cry and Clef became even sadder, sympathizing with the child, but things couldn't be helped. "I will be going somewhere you can't go, my child. Someone needs to take care of you."

"You'll be coming back, won't you?" Yukito sniffled a bit, but there was hope in his eyes.

The hope broke Clef's heart. "I'll come back if you really need me, my child," he answered. He gently wiped away the boy's tears with his fingers. "Now, stop crying. There is someone we would like you to meet."

Yukito realized that the king was back with them. Unfortunately, his tears didn't have an automatic off switch and he was still sniffling, and his cheeks were still damp when he faced the Clow-heika again. He shamefully, kept his head down.

"Don't cry. Here, wipe your tears." A kerchief was offered to him by a small hand and a little boy's voice.

Yukito peered up at the owner of the hand and his gaze met a pair of pretty brown eyes. There was something in those eyes that washed away all of the fear with the warmth of meeting someone special. The boy had black hair like the king, but his was much shorter. He was about Yukito's age, maybe slightly older.

Yukito didn't take the piece of cloth. He just stared at it like it was something he had never seen before.

The boy frowned slightly, displeased, but not angry. It was probably the child-version of exasperation. He took it upon himself to wipe the silver-haired boy's tear-stained cheeks. "My name is Touya, my father said you're going to come live with us. What's your name?"

"Y...Yukito."

"Alright, Yukito, welcome to the palace," Touya grinned widely as he put away the handkerchief. "Don't cry anymore, I promise, I'll take good care of you."

And, it was at that moment that Yukito promised himself that he would take good care of Touya, as well. After all, like his grandfather said, when you're with the person you were meant to live for, you will know.

And, suddenly, the palace didn't seem so scary anymore.

-

Yukito was on edge as he watched Touya sitting in the dining room, worried sick. The two foreigners were with them on account of Touya summoning them for a "discussion" about their travels over snacks. Food had just been served when a guard came in to announce that a sandstorm was coming. The king had wanted to send out a party to fetch Sakura and the others, but decided against it, as traveling in the storm was more dangerous.

They would have to wait the storm out the way they usually did.

Yukito felt even more helpless than before. He couldn't do anything to relieve Touya's anxiety. He couldn't reassure the king that Sakura was fine nor could he give her whereabouts. He had lost his abilities for things like these and felt utterly useless. And it wasn't so much that he had lost his magic or severely weakened it, if it was only him, he could live without magic just fine...

...but Touya and Clow kingdom needed him and his magic—more the latter than the former. That was what was making him sink deeper and deeper into a pit of depression. Since that day he met Touya, he had sworn to himself that he would live to help Touya in any way he could. He had reiterated that pledge to himself so many times in his life. But now, there was nothing he could do for Touya or the kingdom.

It was this train of thought that the foreign magician, Fai broke into when he spoke. "It must happen pretty often in this place, huh?" He spoke as if nothing was wrong.

Yukito, snapped out of his reverie, was the one who answered. "Not until recently," he revealed, his golden eyes darkening somewhat at the thought that he should have been able to protect the kingdom with his magic. He dragged himself back, away from his dark place before he sank too deep to continue his explanation. "We only noticed it a few weeks after Syaoran-kun and Sakura-hime left. The storms were getting stronger and were happening a lot more often."

"You two don't look very worried," Touya tried not to sound as accusing as he really was, but with Fai and Kurogane's perceptive natures, his efforts to hide his true feelings were for naught. Yukito caught on, as well and this made him feel guiltier. Gruff as he was, it wasn't in Touya's nature to act that way. Okay, he often acted that way around Syaoran-kun, but that was the sister-complex working.

Kurogane grunted, "I trust the kid."

"Don't worry," Fai added. "Syaoran-kun has always taken good care of Sakura-chan. She'll be alright as long as he's with her."

Touya immediately bristled at the familiarity, but let it slide. There were many more pressing matters to think about, like Sakura lost and alone in the sand storm and Sakura spending so much time with the archeologist brat. Of course, Sakura could have company; she could be with the brat. Oh, that wasn't much of a positive thought, either.

"Yukito-san," Fai turned smiling blue eyes at the other mage. "Can you tell me more about these odd weather patterns?"

Yukito thought hard for a moment, recalling as many relevant details as he could. "Our meteorologists used to be able to predict the comings and goings of storms in the city. Now, we don't know if a storm is coming until the wind begins to shift. People have been hiding in their homes for a while now, afraid of when the next sandstorm is going to hit."

"There were a lot of people out when we arrived," Kurogane pointed out.

"They came out for love of Sakura-hime," the high priest of Clow replied. "That's why they were so on edge when they didn't find her with you."

"That explains a lot," Fai grinned inanely as he swirled the liquid in the glass in front of him. He stared at his own reflection, distorted by the moving fluid.

"There's one more thing," Yukito continued as an afterthought. "The storms seem to be coming from the ruins."

"The ruins," Touya added in a grave tone. "Where Sakura lost what she did." The feelings of the king were very clear. He was concerned about his little sister and wanted to get to the bottom of everything that was going on.

Kurogane glanced around the table, checking the reactions of the two magicians. Yukito's expression was pained and filled with uncertainty about the future and he kept his gaze downcast, refusing to look at anyone else. Fai, well, Fai's expression was thoughtful, like a man contemplating the different options he had in a very complicated situation.

"Is something wrong, Kuro-wanwan?" Fai was quick to realize that he was being scrutinized. He kept his voice down as Touya and Yukito appeared to be lost in their own thoughts.

Kurogane glared at the blond, "If you know something, wizard, say it."

"Kuro-sama is giving me too much credit," Fai answered, with a smile, but the brightness of his voice never seemed to reach his eyes.

-

When the winds began to die down, the guards informed the king and the high priest immediately and Touya ordered that Sakura and her companions be searched for.

"Shall we join them, Heika-sama?" Yukito asked as the search party assembled in front of the palace, awaiting deployment. The wind was still up, but the volume of sand it carried was much lower. But vision still required goggles.

Touya nodded. "We will. Can you find them with your magic, Yukito?"

The high priest was mortified, and appeared at a loss, a detail that Kurogane and Fai did not leave unnoticed. He was speechless and was only saved by Fai.

"I don't think that will be necessary, Heika-sama," Fai interjected. "I have an idea as to where the kids might be."

Kurogane eyed him suspiciously, "Now, how would you know that?"

Touya and Yukito were equally curious.

"Call it a mother's instinct!" was the simple answer from Fai.

"Stop fooling around, you damn magician!" Kurogane growled.

Touya was too busy frowning and not liking that his sister's safety was being made fun of to see how relieved Yukito was.

But, Fai, from Sakura's feather in Rekord, did actually have a good idea where Syaoran and Sakura were. He distinctly remembered the landmarks and easily navigated the streets. Kurogane who had gone after him, recognized the path they were taking. "You're going to the kid's place?"

"Kuro-ponpon is very smart," the blond found the tiny house. Sand had accumulated on one side, blocking the door. "Do you think the kids are in there?"

"Your guess is as good as mine," Kurogane replied.

-

"It's over," Yamazaki stood, the sand on his cape making a hushing sound as they slid to the floor. They were half-buried in sand in Syaoran's study, but luckily, none of them were hurt.

Syaoran checked on Sakura and Mokona first, before getting up. He helped Sakura up and then examined the inside of his house. "If it's like this in here, we may not be able to get out too easily."

Another rumbling sound made the children in the room cry out.

"Is it another sandstorm?" Chiharu asked.

"No! It sounded much worse!" Yamazaki replied, pushing Chiharu behind him. "Like a sand-dwelling monster from the desert who eats the hearts of little children while they sleep!"

"That sounds scary!" Chiharu glared at her boyfriend through her fear. "You're just making that up, right?" She would normally be so confident that a tale like that would be made up, but the horribly scraping sounds and banging outside really did sound like something monstrous was causing it.

Syaoran wordlessly poised himself to protect Sakura and Mokona.

But, along with the bangs and rumbling came muffled voices from the other side of the door.

"Waaaai! Kuro-run is so strong!"

"Why don't you help out a bit, you troublesome idiot?"

"Fai-san! Kurogane-san," Sakura and Syaoran's faces brightened.

-

As the door of the old archeologist's house was broken down by the tall, dark man with the long sword, relief washed over Touya when he heard his sister's voice call out.

"Looks like they found them," Touya told his high priest.

"Yes," Yukito smiled, but there was a bitter edge to it. Touya should have wondered if he was imagining things, but with the other man's recently odd behavior, he wasn't really surprised. His worry not shifted from Sakura to Yukito. What was wrong with his dearest friend?

---

_I hope you guys enjoyed. Thanks for reading up to this point. Reviews are always appreciated. _

_There we go! _

_**Chapter five quote;**_

"_Syaoran-kun, was that place we stayed in...really your house?" ­_- Sakura


	5. Chapter 5

_In celebration of Chii's bust lift, here's chapter five. I hope everyone enjoys._

_Thanks to DemonUntilDeath for the review._

**V**

It began with happy reunions.

Syaoran was welcomed back, first by Kurogane who had congratulated the kid on a job well done at protecting the princess, then by Fai who had smiled at him. The other guards and soldiers, who had gone out to search for Sakura-hime and her companions, were quick to go to Yamazaki and Chiharu.

Sakura, on the other hand, was greeted by everyone else. Touya and Yukito had immediately rushed to her side, checking on her, the random Clow kingdom residents--who dared come out of their homes to see what the ruckus Kurogane was causing was all about—cheered at the safe return of their princess and how she had survived the most devastating sandstorm.

But, there were two things bothering Sakura at that moment, and the more pressing one of them was the white ball of fur in her arms. The king and his high priest were quick to notice the princess' distress.

"What's wrong?" Touya inquired.

Syaoran, Kurogane, and Fai, done with their short pleasantries, approached in time to hear the question.

"It's Moko-chan," Sakura explained to her brother, desperately. "Moko-chan won't wake up," she continued, but mostly addressed the blue-eyed mage.

Fai came closer. "Syaoran-kun told me," he said as he took the _manjuu_ from the young blonde's outstretched arms. "Don't worry about it. He'll be fine. We just need to let him rest for a while." Fai almost laughed at the equally suspicious looks he got from both Kurogane and the king. The two were so alike. _And will the high priest be like me? _His mind wandered a bit. "You two kids better go with Heika-sama and Yukito-san. You must be hungry after all that."

It was at that moment that Sakura's tummy chose to actually rumble. She flushed a beet red.

"Still a monster, I see," Touya teased his sister mildly.

"I am not a monster!"

As the king and his sister walked back to the palace, a small procession of guards and Clow residents followed. Syaoran stayed close to Sakura, mostly lingering behind her and the king. He kept pace with Yukito, who appeared preoccupied by some matter that kept his eyes downcast and gloomy.

Kurogane and Fai tailed the procession, Mokona tucked safely in Kurogane's cloak.

"Oi," the ninja spoke to the wizard, not truly believing what Fai had earlier said about the meat bun just needing rest.

"There's something powerful interfering with the magic here," the wizard offered. He had a serious look on his face. He looked over his shoulder, towards the direction of the ruins. "Since Mokona is a magical creature..."

"...the _manjuu_ is susceptible," Kurogane finished. He glanced down into his cloak at his precious cargo, then back at Fai. "So your magic is affected to."

Fai smiled ruefully, "Since I don't use magic, I don't see how that matters."

Kurogane snorted, irritably.

But Fai ignored him. He had a distant expression. "And _he_ is being affected, as well..."

-

Crack!

There it was again: that strange pain in his glass eye seemed to be intensifying here in his home world. Syaoran felt his entire body freeze up. Was he going to lose it again? Here he was, beside the princess, in the middle of a big banquet in honor of her safe return. If he lost himself again, what would happen? He had no idea what he became whenever he had these blackouts. He could hurt someone. Worse still, he could end up hurting Sakura.

"Syaoran-kun?" Sakura had worry written all over her pretty face. Somehow, her calling out his name quelled whatever was threatening to take over him. "Is something wrong?"

Syaoran found his voice, "Everything's fine, princess."

"If you're suffering, please don't hide it from me, it makes me even more worried," Sakura answered as she always did when she figured the boy was hiding something from her.

"I know," Syaoran save her his most reassuring smile.

Though not thoroughly convinced, having another matter pressing at her mind, Sakura accepted Syaoran's claim for the time being. She peered at her brother's direction. He, Yukito, Kurogane, and Fai were discussing some things. "Could you please come with me for a while?"

"Sure, princess," Syaoran stood and helped the Clow princess out of her chair.

Some people noticed their departure from the festivities, including Fai and Yukito who took it upon themselves to distract Touya even more so the king could not interfere with whatever the two children had in mind. Kurogane had shrugged it off as something he did not need to know about. Touya saw as well, but grudgingly trusted Syaoran enough to let him be alone with his sister for a while. He succumbed to the inane discussion the foreign wizard had begun with him and Yukito about sand.

Sakura led Syaoran to the place where they had first met. Syaoran couldn't help but call up the memory of that day. He felt nostalgic. He felt at peace. And then, he began to wonder why the princess had taken him there.

"Syaoran-kun," Sakura began, confused and uncertain. It was Syaoran's turn to look concerned, but before he could voice it out, Sakura continued. "During the sandstorm, was that place we stayed in..."

Realization swept over Syaoran. In the urgency of the situation they had earlier been under, he had not considered the havoc his carelessly calling his house 'his house' on the princess' incomplete memories. He dreaded the next words.

"...really your house?"

"Yes, it was," Syaoran replied honestly. He thought of how every time the princess remembered something about him, it would be promptly taken from her. He braced himself for her collapsing at the onslaught of magic that would wipe out her memories of him in an instant. He was glad that the princess had isolated them from everyone else. The people of Clow might panic at the sight of Sakura losing consciousness for no apparent reason. No one from Clow truly knew what was going on.

"You know," Sakura was blushing when she met his gaze. "While we were at your house, I remembered some things that I couldn't remember before."

Syaoran was now the one confused. Why wasn't her memory being wiped clean of him, yet?

"There are a lot of gaps in my memory and I'm always talking or spending time with someone I couldn't remember," Sakura continued. She looked around the place they were in. "That person was very special to me, and I met him here..."

Brown eyes widened. _Could it be?_

"...and that person was..." Sakura took Syaoran's hands into her own. "That was you, Syaoran-kun."

-

"We...ell!" Fai giggled, already drunk from the wine that had been served to the adults. "We had a lot of fun at Outo! Little Kitty and Little Puppy learned so many new things, too..." Oh, the innuendo that the wizard made with his tone.

Touya's eyebrow twitched dangerously. He was so close to getting out of his seat, going after his sister and that brat, and knocking some sense into the sister-stealing-sand-excavating-world-hopping-idiot that his sister seemed so fond of.

"Uhm..." Yukito raised his hand to stop the other magic-wielder from telling the rest of his story. "...Maybe we should talk about something else for now..."

"No..." Touya had a dangerous gleam in his eye that made Yukito flinch and inch away. "I'd like to hear a whole lot more about Little Kitty and Little Puppy." The monikers were said with an almost frightening edge that only Fai appeared oblivious to.

"Big Puppy taught Little Puppy how to use his sword!" Fai related, still not choosing his words and still—consciously or unconsciously—making subtle hints with his voice.

"Sword...?" Touya's blood seemed to develop an affinity for his face and Yukito was becoming flustered, trying to figure out how to stop the king if ever he went on a rampage.

Kurogane was also turning red. "Stop making things sound so damn wrong!" he yelled at the blond. "And call me by my proper name, damn it."

"Tsk. Kuro-puppy is being so rude in front of the king again," Fai reprimanded.

As Kurogane roared out, "You're the one being an idiot!"

Fai went on with his story telling. "And Little Kitty learned how to bake from me. She's getting real good at it, too. You should try her cakes sometime."

"Cake?" Yukito blinked. "Oh, so since Sakura learned how to bake, then perhaps Fai-san had been talking about Syaoran learning how to use real swords?"

"What other swords would there be?" Fai asked, looking all cute and innocent, pretending to not know what the other man was talking about. This question caused Yukito to turn a lovely shade of pink.

Kurogane grabbed the magician by the collar and dragged him off. "Excuse us," he bowed slightly to the king and the high priest. "It's time someone put this idiot to bed."

Touya deflated, relieved, and waved off the pair. So the brat had learned how to use swords. That was good. Syaoran could better protect Sakura that way. And Sakura? Baking? Maybe he shouldn't really be worried. Maybe the journey wasn't always as dangerous as it seemed. His eyes landed on Yukito again.

Then, again there were other things to worry about.

"Yukito?"

"Yes, Heika-sama?"

"I need to talk to you about something."

Pause.

"Of course, Heika-sama."

-

Kurogane marched down the hallways, the Celes magician toted over his shoulder like a sack of rocks. He was seriously considering that, perhaps, that was all the stupid idiot had in his head. He suppressed a sigh and it came out as an annoyed grunt. He knew better than anyone that the magician was not an idiot, though he chose to act like one.

To his credit—in Kurogane's opinion, anyway—Fai was not protesting being carried off in an ungainly manner. He was actually quiet as they made their way to his room.

As Kurogane threw open the door to Fai's room, he noticed the figure standing in wait in the darkness. "What is it?"

Apparently, Fai noticed, too. "Hello, Syaoran-kun!" he sang.

Well, Syaoran didn't need to ask what was up with Fai. He knew the blond all too well. So, he opted to deal with Kurogane, "Can we talk?"

Kurogane eyed Fai, then turned to enter Fai's room. "We can talk in here."

Syaoran nodded and followed the pair into the room.

Once Kurogane had tucked Fai in next to the sleeping Mokona—here, tucking meaning dropping him ungracefully onto the bed and throwing a blanket over him—he sat on Fai's bedside and gestured for Syaoran to pull up the chair of what was supposed to be a desk. "What do you need to talk about?"

"It's the princess," Syaoran replied. "She..."

Kurogane raised an inquisitive eyebrow.

"...She remembers me."

Mildly surprised, but figuring it was not unlikely considering what the mage had told him earlier, Kurogane frowned thoughtfully before speaking. "Why does this bother you?"

"I don't know," Syaoran replied, looking incredibly conflicted. "I know I should be happy that I'm back in her memories, but something isn't right..."

-

Sakura stood in her balcony and stared at the ruins. _I used to stand here and wonder if Syaoran-kun was thinking about me. _She admired the architecture of the ancient buildings Syaoran used to work in. They weren't covered by sandstorms now. She remembered enough to know that Syaoran had enjoyed excavating the ruins of Clow, but that was something she had already picked up during their journey, as well.

She smiled to herself.

_This is also the place where I decided to tell Syaoran-kun that I love him,_ she recalled. The thought made her heart beat faster. _From what I remember, I never got to tell him how I feel. I wonder if I ever did..._

_...But why doesn't he tell me these things?_

A soft sound from the distance, something like the tinkling of tiny bells, reached Sakura's ears. "That sound..." her eyes became glazed and the wind began to shift, and the ruins were once again covered by a screen of sand.

"...something is calling me..."

-

_Oh. Oh, I finished chapter 6, as well, but I'm still editing it. Thanks for reading. Hope you enjoyed it._


	6. Chapter 6

_Wow. That Chapitre 148 was something, wasn't it? How interesting where all this could lead._

_**DemonUntilDeath,** I know I've said this so many times, but thanks so much for reviewing again. I had hoped that more people would read this, too. Perhaps it's the summary that turns people off, I don't know... But, while I write in hopes that people would enjoy my work, I also write because I like doing it. I hope you enjoy this update._

_Same goes for everyone else reading. This is a fairly short chapter, compared to the others._

**VI**

"An artificial soul?" Ashura-ou studied the pretty girl standing next to his most powerful magician. Her hair was the same color as Fai's, but her eyes were like the king's own. She had a very endearing smile and a pleasant innocent aura surrounded her.

Fai nodded to emphasize his reply. "Yes, sire." He turned to the girl beside him. "Please introduce yourself to the king the way I taught you to."

The girl smiled at her creator and then curtsied for the man on the throne. "Good day, Ashura-ou, my name is Chii. I'm pleased to meet you."

She sounded so much like Fai. Her manner, her speech, she picked them up from her creator. Ashura-ou immediately disliked her. "Very nice," he complimented, smiling warmly at Chii despite his true feelings. "You're a very good girl, Chii."

Though the words were kind, Fai had spent enough time with the Celes king to recognize the sharp edge in his voice. The magician trembled. The king was angered by something and he knew exactly what that something was. Fai lowered his gaze when Ashura-ou cast a sideward glance in his direction. "Chii," he called to his created daughter. He tried to keep his voice even, but some amount of fear could be detected from it, if listened to closely. "Please go to the kitchen and help out there. Bake the cake I taught you how to make. We'll let the king taste it later."

Chii looked at the blond with worry. "Did Chii do something wrong, Fai?"

Fai smiled weakly at her, "No, Chii. You did everything perfectly."

"Then what's wrong, Fai? Chii doesn't understand," Chii placed a worried hand on Fai's cheek.

"Please go now, Chii," Fai said sternly.

Chii's underdeveloped mind could still comprehend that there were more reasons for her to obey than to do otherwise. She bowed for the king and then walked out of the study where they had a private audience with the king.

"You made her by yourself, Fai?" Ashura-ou broke his silence once Chii had left the room.

Fai nodded, keeping his eyes downcast.

"For you to be able to make an artificial soul," Ashura-ou reached out and gently prodded Fai to look at him. "That would mean your skill in using magic has grown incredibly. Can you tell me why you spent your energies creating such a being?"

"Ashura-ou, I..." the blue-eyed magician knew the words, but found that he would stumble over them if he did not settle his nerves even a bit. He took a deep breath and steadily met his king's gaze. "Chii is meant to help me fulfill my duties. I'll teach her to do everything I do. She'll be..."

"...your replacement, Fai?" the anger that the king had so well masked in Chii's presence was beginning to surface. The words were said with so much spite that Fai felt as though he had been struck. "She isn't you, Fai."

"She's just like me," Fai reasoned out desperately. "Like me, Ashura-ou, Chii was created to serve you."

That pushed the king to his limit. He shoved and pinned his servant on the carpeted floor. "If you were created to serve me, then why are you going to leave me?" he yelled, holding the slender wrists hostage above the flaxen head. "Don't you understand that it's you I need by my side and not some servant?" It was then that he caught himself doing something he knew he would deeply regret later on.

Fai didn't even struggle to free himself. He just lay there, eyes closed, not wanting to see the anguish on the other man's face. When the weight holding him down was redistributed and eventually taken off him, he waited a while before picking himself up, but kept his line of sight lowered.

By the time Fai was on his feet, Ashura-ou was already standing by the window, staring up at the stars. The moon reflected off the tears trailing down his face, making him look like there were stars on his beautiful countenance as well. Fai's heart felt like it had been ripped from him. "Trying times are coming to Celes, I can see that written in the stars. I don't know what kind of trials we will face, and I'm sure that you won't tell me unless you absolutely have to."

"I'm sorry, Ashura."

"Chii is a magnificent creation," Ashura-ou spoke with sincerity. "Soon, you will have enough skill to leave. I can't let that happen."

"I can't allow you to leave me, Fai, especially not for _that _purpose. But I know you're going to do it, anyway. It has already been decided."

-

When Syaoran left, Kurogane found that he could turn to the magician, whom he had known all along was awake. "Don't you have anything to say?" Actually, the reason he chose to talk in Fai's room was because he wanted the blond to hear what the boy out as well.

"Daddy did well for a beginner," Fai grinned as he rolled over to face Kurogane. "But it looks like mommy needs to talk to him when morning comes." He sounded cheerful, but in actuality, he had struggled with his own memories only moments earlier. The ninja probably noticed, but he wouldn't press, so it was fine.

Kurogane sat back down on the bed, but kept his back to the magician. "Is this still about that interfering power?"

"I think so," Fai stared at the ceiling of his room. "As for Syaoran-kun, it must be very hard for him to deal with Sakura-chan remembering him again. _Her _price is not to be taken lightly. He knows this isn't permanent."

They stayed silent for a while, Kurogane thinking about what was going on, and Fai thinking about what had already passed.

Then, Fai's voice cut through the quiet, "You lived to serve Tomoyo-hime, didn't you?"

"I never swore to be her ninja, if that's what you're asking," Kurogane quickly replied.

"But," Fai began to point out. "Your days were spent serving her. That's what you're used to. That's what you did. It doesn't matter if you swore to be her ninja or not."

Kurogane noted the oddly serious speech, so he didn't brush the mage off so fast, "What's your point?"

"It must have been hard finding meaning to your days when you could no longer live to serve her," Fai was talking from experience, mostly. He didn't see the difficulty Kurogane could be going through, and the shinobi probably didn't have any difficulty adjusting to life traveling from a life serving in a palace.

"No," Kurogane answered sincerely. "In Japan, I lived to get stronger to protect her and the country. Now, I just live to get back home and get back at her for sending me away."

Fai's eyes widened, not expecting such an honest revelation. He didn't have any smart comebacks for that one, so all he had to say was, "I see."

"I also have other reasons for wanting to survive each day," Kurogane added giving Fai a sidelong glance. "So I'll always have something pushing me to move forward even if my goal of getting home is impossible."

Fai closed his eyes, "I wonder..." he said in a melancholic manner. "...Have I found another reason?"

-

Syaoran gave up staring at the ceiling and turned to his side. Unlike in most other worlds, Syaoran was not allowed to watch over his princess under Touya-heika's roof. He wasn't too bothered as he was allowed to stay in the palace and the princess' door was heavily guarded. And, with everything that was going on, the temporary separation was well appreciated. All that had happened that night replayed in his head like a broken record.

"_And that person was you, Syaoran-kun."_

He had long resigned himself to the fact that Sakura would never remember him as the boy she grew up with. It was the price he was more than willing to pay in order to save her life. Her question after that statement was something he could not answer.

"_Why didn't you tell me?"_

He had managed to mumble some lame explanation that he doubted she understood, then asked to be excused for the night. He had wanted to talk to Fai about it, but ended up having an especially awkward moment with Kurogane instead.

"_If something was wrong, you'd save her from it. Does it matter whether she remembers you or not?"_

"No, it doesn't," Syaoran said. He had been too confused and concerned to answer Kurogane at that time, but the adult didn't seem to mind. The question that needed to be posed was posed and Syaoran had decided on the answer. He had once told Kurogane in Outo, when he asked that the ninja teach him how to use a sword, that he wanted to learn to survive because he had something to do. That had been the answer to his qualms all along.

With that thought in mind, he began to drift off.

-

The castle's receiving room...

...the layers of cushions and lavish layers of fabrics, as well as the beautiful ornamentation above the throne...

...Yukito had always thought that it looked something like a fantasy. Touya sat to one side of what looked like a small bed. His dark features contrasted with the light surroundings and made him stand out, while still fitting in perfectly.

"Yuki, please sit by my side," Touya called.

Though his friend was sprawled comfortably, Yukito chose to sit primly on one edge. Touya sighed seeing the space Yukito kept between them. He didn't say anything about it, and just opted to fall back on the cushion, occupying more space and somehow bringing him closer to the high priest.

"You wanted to talk, Heika-sama?"

Touya frowned. "I told you that you don't have to be so formal when we're together. You're my dear childhood friend, Yuki. It doesn't make sense."

Yukito didn't say anything. It was such an old argument of theirs that Touya always won, because Yukito really liked being able to address Touya so casually. But, this time, Yukito felt like he had no right, anymore.

The silence bothered Touya to no end, so he interrupted it. "Do you remember that time you predicted Sakura's fate?"

Golden eyes widened slightly.

"You wouldn't talk to me for days," Touya relayed the mutual memory with a hint of gloom. "You said you didn't know how to break it to me. You said you couldn't tell me that my sister—my only family left—was going to have to leave to take a difficult and perilous journey as part of some divine cosmic plan. You said that there was nothing we could do to stop it, only put our powers together and try to help."

"My grandfather always told me that the inevitable will always happen, but its outcome is always up to us," Yukito explained. "It's been difficult for you as well. I'm sorry I couldn't do any more."

The king examined his subordinate's expression. "I can't read fortunes nor see into the future, Yuki, but I know you enough to read what's written on your face and see your pain," he placed a hand on the other man's shoulder.

The plea in the king's voice made Yukito turn. The guilt in his heart blossomed to something that pushed him to the brink of revealing everything. But, still, he couldn't bring himself to say anything. Brown eyes were filled with supplication that he almost drowned in when he saw them. "Oh, Touya..."

"I don't need to know because I'm the king," Touya added to what he had earlier said. "I need to know because it's something that's hurting you."

Yukito held back his tears, "I'm sorry..."

And what Yukito had long hidden, his intentions suddenly became clear to the king. The sadness brought by the pain of anticipating a broken promise was evident. "No, I'm sorry. I've been very selfish all this time," Touya embraced his beloved friend tightly and whispered, "Yuki, I release you from all your bonds to me."

-

_There you go! Thanks for reading! Here's the teaser for the next chapter. It's still in the works, though._

"_I chose to run away once, and that is why I am running away. This is my choice, it wasn't inevitable. It's the same with you."_

_- Fai_


	7. Chapter 7

_Here goes Chapter Seven! Yeah, I'm not sure how plausible everything in here is, but I hope it makes sense to you guys. , _

_**entis**, thanks for reviewing, I hope this chapter was worth the wait._

_**Attiqah Gensui**, I'm glad you like this fic. I'm sorry I've not updated the other ones, yet, but one of them will be updated soon. I promise._

_That said, I bring you Chapter Seven._

**VII**

Yukito stood at the edge of the ruins; sand billowing about him. Above him floated Sakura, a feather appeared to be suspended above her. She was glowing and had a dull look in her eyes.

"That feather..."

When the feather entered Sakura, the light emanating from the Clow princess changed in color and wings spread out from her back. The ruins begin to shake and the sandstorm becomes stronger, and then the wings fall apart into feathers that scatter...

"...Just like before."

When all that was done, the princess fell from the sky and Yukito knew that there was no way for her to recover from the damage done.

Clow Reed appeared to him at that moment, "When a person has crossed over to the other side, there is no way to bring that person back."

-

It was very early the morning after, when the winds began to shift to a more ominous pitch. The storm alarm was sounded, waking everyone in the city up. Everyone had to be warned. Everyone needed to be ready.

As Syaoran stood behind the closed balcony doors watching the wind build momentum at frightening rates, quick movements at the periphery of his vision caught his attention. Sakura' s balcony door was still open. Alarmed, he ran out of his room to check on his princess. When he got to the princess' room, he found her guards standing agape by her open door.

"What's going on?" Syaoran asked as he stood by their side. He froze to find that they were looking into an empty room. "Sakura-hime?"

"When the alarm sounded, the maids were ordered to seal her room," one of the guards began to explain.

Another piped in, "And she wasn't there anymore!"

Sakura had, on more than one occasion, gone out on her own to search for her feathers, but that only happened when she didn't have enough feathers to be fully aware of her situation. Now, the only other time Syaoran had seen Sakura lose herself was at _that _time. "Oh no..."

"Oi," Kurogane arrived. "What's going on?"

"The princess," Syaoran was quick to solicit help from his mentor. "I think she may have gone to the ruins."

Kurogane's scowl deepened, somewhat. "And that idiot disappeared as well. This isn't good."

-

He didn't have to pack for where he was going. He didn't have things of his own, to begin with, anyway. The things he had, Touya or Clow had given to him. He didn't even own the clothes on his back. There was only a journal where he had written all his spells and predictions, but that one, he decided to leave because the kingdom might need it. All he took was a walking stick. It was the only useful thing to him, now.

These decisions on what to bring and not to bring, he had made long before. When he predicted Sakura's brief return, he also planned his own departure. It was a cruel twist of fate. His gift of foresight was innate and did not rely on his magic so he could still have visions, though he could not control when he had them and what they would be about. But still, he could see the dark future only to see that there was nothing he could do about it.

But this time, there was something he could do to save Sakura. It was a desperate measure, but it had to be done.

-

"The inevitable will happen, but the outcome need not be as you see it," Clow Reed's voice rang clear as he stood at the edge of the ruins watching Sakura floating above him. This time, instead of appearing above Sakura, the feather appeared in front of Yukito. He took the feather and it started to glow a strange color. The ruins began to tremble and the winds threatened to blow him away, but he held tight and kept his footing firm. Behind him, silver-blue wings spread out. Sakura floated down to him and he returned the feather to her just before the feathers of his own memories scattered.

-

He couldn't bear to tell Touya that he was leaving for good. He cursed his own weakness, because this dilemma wouldn't be a dilemma had he been a bit stronger. But, in order to fulfill what needed to be fulfilled, in order to save the princess and make happen everything that should happen, he had to leave Touya.

He put on the white cloak he often wore whenever he and Touya went out to the marketplace. He also readied his mask, as he would be walking out into a barrage of sand. With a sandstorm raging outside, he was almost out of time. Touya's voice rang in his head.

"_I've been very selfish all this time. Yuki, I release you from all your bonds to me."_

Then, the king left him like that, to his own devices, to his own thoughts, and to his own guilt and misery.

"The weather's pretty bad for a morning stroll, Yukito-san," another white-cloaked figure stood amongst the many pillars of Clow castle.

Yukito recognized the voice. "Fai-san..."

"If something happened to you, Sakura-chan will be sad," blue eyes pierced through him. "But, even more important, _he_ will be sad. Very sad. And he will blame himself."

The high priest avoided the blue eyes, "The king released me from all my oaths. I can do as I please, now."

"But you would have served him even if that were the case..." Fai paused for a moment for effect. "...if you could."

Yukito clutched the staff tightly, as if it was the last strands keeping him together. He was afraid that he would fall apart soon.

"Your power is all but gone," Fai stated calmly. Yukito nearly snapped the piece of wood in his hand in half. "The spell you used to send the kids to the Dimensional Witch took its toll on your powers. Your magic may be powerful, but a magician can send only one person through dimensions. You broke that law. You're paying the price for sending two."

"It is as it should happen," Yukito smiled as he glanced at the walking stick that now replaced his magical staff. "I was meant to do what I did and I was meant to lose what I am losing right now." Yukito forced himself to smile at the magician. "I don't mind losing my powers."

Fai's empty grin echoed Yukito's own strained expression. "But, your powers aren't really the price you're paying, is it?"

"Please," Yukito became agitated, not really understanding how a foreigner could know so much, but crediting it to magic that he no longer had. "Take care for Sakura-hime and Syaoran-kun. They've been through so much and I don't know how things will end for them. But, as for me and my services to the king...this ending is how it was supposed to happen. It was inevitable." He turned to leave knowing the other wouldn't stop him.

"I chose to run away once," Fai called after him. "And that is why I am running away. It was my choice, it wasn't inevitable. It's the same with you."

"You don't understand!" Yukito cried out, but somehow managing to keep his voice little above a whisper. "There's nothing else I can do..." his train of thought slipped somewhat. "This outcome had been predicted long before."

"Yes, the inevitable will happen no matter what," Fai reminded Yukito. "But the outcome of the inevitable depends on us. Please think about that."

And Fai left Yukito to his own devices. After all, despite all the conflicts that could go on in one's head, one could only give one's self so much advice.

-

Syaoran checked his goggles and put on his cape as he readied himself for the difficult journey to the ruins.

"You won't last long with just that," Touya interjected from the door of Syaoran's room. He tossed over to the young archeologist "brat" a mask. He was suited up to go out as well.

Syaoran bowed and then smiled gratefully at the king. "Heika-sama, with all due respect, you don't have to come with me. It will be dangerous, something might happen to you." He glanced towards Kurogane who had just entered the room in full sandstorm-fighting-gear. "You, too, Kurogane-san."

"Don't get me wrong, brat," Touya retorted lazily. "I'm not doing this to help you, but it's my sister who's out there and I don't really trust you with her. Sorry."

"That's heika-sama's way of telling you he's worried about you kids," Fai walked in, ready to go out.

"Fai-san..." Syaoran found himself feeling a bit more at ease with the thought that the magician was quite fine and would be going with them.

At once, Kurogane was on the blond's case. "Where have you been all this time?"

"Aaaaawww..." Fai grinned and patted Kurogane's head. "Kuro-daddy was worried about li'l ol' meeeeeeee..." he simpered, effectively making the veins in Kurogane's head pop out. He quickly shoved the sleeping Mokona into Kurogane's arms. "Now, you be a good daddy and take good care of Mokona, k?"

Although he took Mokona without question and tucked the magical creature into his cloak without complaint, Kurogane still yelled, "You didn't answer my question, you damn magician!"

"It would be suicide to go out in a sandstorm of this magnitude," Touya told Syaoran, ignoring Fai and Kurogane—he had long decided that the two men were as responsible with the kids as they were childish in handling their issues with each other. "That's why none of the palace soldiers are coming with us. It will be..." he paused, hesitant. He wasn't used to the idea of heading off somewhere without his high priest, but quickly shook himself free of his emotions. "...just the four of us."

Syaoran, Kurogane, and Fai; none of them commented on the absence of Yukito. Syaoran wanted to ask, but he received a disapproving look from the sole blond. Kurogane was quick to take the hint, but made a mental note to one day wring out every single detail the blond held back.

"Let's go," Syaoran led the group out of the room.

-

_Whoop! There it is! Hope you liked it! Thanks for reading! I forgot to label the teaser from the last chapter as a teaser, but...oh well... sorry about that._

_**Teaser:**_

"_I will pay any price to get my powers back and save Sakura-hime!"_

_-Yukito_


	8. Chapter 8

_Daaaaarn...this was so hard to write. I'm really not good at scenes that call for a lot of description, so please bear with this chapter. I had this finished a long time ago, but ffnet died and I just found out that it's okay again._

_**Mesame**__, thanks for reviewing. Well, here's the next chapter. I hope you enjoy it. :)_

_**DemonUntilDeath**__, I don't mind if you miss reviewing a chapter, but I'm still happy that you reviewed. Thanks very much!_

_**Sevvy**__, thanks for the review. I've also wondered about that, because I think the Touya-Yuki tandem is a fluffier, less angst-ridden version of Kuro-Fai. _

_I hope I didn't make the cast too OOC. __I read my own profile recently and noticed that I labeled this fic as a KuroFai. thinks I guess it is, if you want to see it that way, ne?_

_But, enough with that, here's Chapter 8._

**VIII**

The petite bespectacled chief palace engineer led the group through the maze of various innovations stored at the lower levels of Clow Palace that the palace engineers devised to make desert life easier. She was describing the different inventions with as much enthusiasm as a mother talking about her child.

"Naoko-san," Touya interrupted the young girl's spiel. "We need something that can take us to the ruins despite this storm. We need Sand Rabbits."

"Sand Rabbits?" Kurogane looked dubious, but Fai directed his attention towards three peculiar looking glider vehicles.

"That's strange," Naoko commented as she took the king and his companions to the parking area of the Sand Rabbits. "There are supposed to be four of these in here." She frowned, thoughtfully, "We made five and one is being repaired after Yamazaki-kun crashed into a wall during testing..."

Touya, given the urgency of the situation, opted not to bother with common courtesy and got into one of the Rabbits. He quickly turned the engine on.

"But, heika-sama, we've never tried those out in an actual storm before!" Naoko protested.

Syaoran took the Rabbit beside Touya and followed the king's example. Soon, the sound of the fans that propelled the Rabbits filled the room. King and architect put on their masks and pulled down their goggled. Naoko began to protest some more, but soon realized that it was pointless as the two Rabbits were piloted out of the room.

Naoko sighed and turned to the two men who were left with her. "I suppose you're going to take that third Rabbit even if I advise you not to do so," she said with resignation.

Kurogane grunted his affirmation.

Fai smiled, "It would turn out that way." He glanced at the ninja, "But, Kuro-pii, it looks like we're going to have to share."

"The Rabbits were designed for two people so you can," Naoko informed them.

"What?" Kurogane growled. But taking note of the fact that he had no choice, he grudgingly consented to his fate of being constantly stuck with the mage. He got onto the remaining Rabbit. "But, I'm driving."

Fai sauntered into the Rabbit after him, "Wow, Kuro-wanko can really take control."

"Shut up," the taller man retorted angrily. He then looked over the controls. "Hey, this looks a lot like that time..."

"Piffle's Dragonflies, right?" Fai agreed.

Naoko leaned over the front of the Rabbit and pointed to one of the buttons. "This is what starts and stops the blades of the fans," she tapped the steering wheel, "And you steer with this." She gestured towards the other buttons, "And this is to adjust the..."

Fai reached over from behind Kurogane to press the ignition button. The Rabbit lifted off the ground and Kurogane urged it to pass Naoko. They didn't mean to be rude, but they needed to go.

"Wait! Heika-sama and Syaoran have tried riding these before, but you haven't!" Naoko shouted as she chased after Kurogane and Fai. The Rabbit sped out of the building, easily leaving her behind.

"We'll just figure things out. Thank you, Naoko-san!" Fai called back, waving.

Naoko fell to the floor, "But that's just reckless..."

On the Rabbit, Fai cheered Kurogane on, "Wow! Kuro-tan is so good at this!"

"Can't you be serious for once?" Kurogane griped, until he felt Fai's arms wrap around his body. "What are you doing?!" he went through the Kurogane-version of panic and nearly threw the blond off the Rabbit.

Fai was undaunted and managed to do what he had been trying to do. He caught hold of Kurogane's mask and easily fitted it on the ninja. Fai, himself, was already wearing his mask and goggles. "You wouldn't get very far without a mask on, Kuro-pii," Fai reminded him, his voice sounded odd through the mouthpiece. "The sand would suffocate you."

"Stupid magician," Kurogane bit out through his own mouthpiece. He pulled down the goggles he had on his head just as they broke out into the windy Clow sky. He took a moment to check on the magical meat bun tucked into his shirt, then glanced back at Fai. The vein on his forehead popped out when he noted that he could just "see" the amused and knowing grin on the blond's face.

-

Yukito squinted as he forced himself closer to the ruins. The Rabbit he had taken with him couldn't get any closer so he fought his way in. Suddenly, the winds shifted and he found a funnel of wind and sand. He shoved the walking stick as far into the sand as it would go and held on. There was a figure at the eye of the small tornado. It was impossible to make out the person's features through the maelstrom of sand, but he already knew who it was.

"Sakura-hime!"

His priorities quickly shifted. He couldn't get into the ruins to get the feather so all he could do was stop the princess. He fought through the storm and positioned himself so that he was directly in Sakura's path. He braced himself, knowing that he would be caught in the tornado, but the seeming tornado wasn't that. It just looked that way because the winds were avoiding Sakura. The wind around him died down and he found himself at the feet of the princess with vacant eyes.

Yukito took his chance and pulled himself up. He blocked her way and took hold of her shoulders. "Sakura-hime, please get a hold of yourself!"

"...My feathers..." was all Sakura mumbled. "...I must find them..."

Yukito held her firmly in place, "Where is your feather?"

"...I must find them..." came the detached reply. "...They are calling..."

And then, Yukito followed Sakura's blank gaze. There had to be a hint as to where the feather was. The feather was the source of all the disturbances. Even without magic, Yukito should be able to find it. Yukito looked up and saw the source of all the winds. At that moment, the feather materialized and, as if someone turned off some heavenly fan, the winds stopped blowing. Yukito took off his mask and goggles to get a better look. "That's it!" he realized.

But Yukito's attention was quickly diverted when Sakura seemed to pass through him. "...I must get my feathers..." Sakura whispered as she passed.

"Hime!" Yukito lunged after her, but his hands passed through her. "No, don't!" But as he stumbled through the sand, Sakura walked slowly but with ease.

-

The first thing Touya aside from sand as he approached the ruins of Clow was the shattered remains of a Sand Rabbit. "Yukito..." he just knew it was his former high priest who had taken the vehicle from the hangar. "...you knew Sakura would be here." Noting the damage on the Rabbit, he immediately deduced that the winds were too strong from there on. He cut his engine and held tight, aware that the initial loss of propulsion would throw him backwards. But he wasn't thrown back because the winds suddenly died down. He would have wondered what was going on had he not been pushed aside by Syaoran who sped past him. "Hey!" he began to yell at the brat, but noticed that the boy had a peculiar feel to his person as his Rabbit flew at top speed towards the ruins.

Touya picked himself up and got into his Rabbit, but for some reason, it wouldn't start. "Damn it! This isn't the time for this!" He muttered, frustrated. With the storm gone, he saw Yukito holding on to Sakura a short distance away. Syaoran didn't look like he was headed for Sakura and Yukito. He looked like he was really headed for the ruins. Then, he noticed a strange twinkle from the top of the ruins. "Is that it? Is that the fragment of Sakura's memory?"

"Heika-sama," the third Rabbit finally caught up. It was difficult to say which of the two riders were talking, but judging by the intonation, it was the blond.

Touya pointed towards the feather, "You go for the brat. Something's not right with him."

Kurogane studied the king for a moment before driving the Rabbit after Syaoran. Touya began to run after his high priest and sister.

-

"Kuro-myu," Fai called out to the driver. "Could you drop me off to where Sakura-chan and Yukito-san are?"

Kurogane growled, "Stop ordering me around!" But he still altered their path a bit. He reached into his shirt and pulled out the still sleeping Mokona. "And take the manjuu with you."

Fai only smiled as he took the magical meat bun. Kurogane was so perceptive. "Make sure you stop Syaoran," was the only reminder the magician left with the ninja.

Yukito, who had seen Syaoran's Rabbit pass, was already watching them with desperation in his eyes. Fai jumped off the Rabbit as he and Kurogane passed Yukito and Sakura.

Kurogane did not even give Fai a look back, trusting the magician to take care of what needed to be taken care of there. He had to get to the boy. If what the king had said earlier was true, Syaoran wasn't himself anymore and would probably stop at no means to get the feather. He didn't bother questioning why Fai wanted Syaoran stopped. When it came to magic, the idiot was always right.

-

"Fai-san!" Yukito was slightly relieved to see Sakura's companions arriving.

Fai removed his mask and goggles, reached out, and grabbed Sakura's arm. He was able to stop her with ease. "She's being drawn to her feather," he observed. "And the feather has reacted to the magic of the ruins."

"If she receives that feather, the remnants of the spell that took her memories away..." Yukito held Sakura tighter.

"...will be activated again and she will die," Fai finished the difficult sentence. "Especially now that none of us have any means to move through worlds." He looked down at the sleeping Mokona. "But this time, anyone who touches the feather first will lose his memories. So, it doesn't have to be the princess."

Yukito nodded.

"But it doesn't have to be you, either, Yukito-san," Fai said pointedly. Somehow, his presence seemed to still Sakura. Fai let her go and she fell into a deep sleep. The silver-haired priest caught the falling princess and gently lowered her to the sand. At least, for Yukito, that was one less worry.

"_And if you need anything I can help you with, don't hesitate to ask,"_ Fai's words from before echoed in Yukito's mind and was drawn in the intense gaze of the blue eyes. "Can you help me get in touch with the Dimensional Witch?" Yukito finally asked.

"I have a trick for that," Fai lifted an eyebrow. "But if you're going to ask for her help, you should know that there will always be a heavy price."

"I know, but," Yukito looked determined. "I will pay any price to get my powers back and save Sakura-hime!"

Fai then smiled a genuine smile, although it was a very sad one. He pursed his lips and whistled. An intricate pattern of blue light began to surround Fai, Yukito, and Sakura. Mokona, who was in Fai's arms, immediately woke up and went "Mekyo!"

"Fai!" Mokona hopped up onto the magician's shoulder. "You used your magic again."

Fai petted the white bun. "It's just a small trick, Mokona. Now, can you please contact Yuuko for us?"

Mokona bobbed up and down, excitedly. "Sure!"

The jewel on Mokona's forehead glowed and the communication line to Yuuko's world was opened. But, there was no Yuuko on the other side. There was a young boy with dark hair and glasses, instead. "Oh, hello there," the boy greeted.

Yukito noted that the boy reminded him of Clow Reed.

"May we speak with Yuuko-san, please," Fai told the boy with in a pleasant voice that was out of place in their situation.

"She left me in charge for a while," the boy answered, smiling with equal courtesy. "My name is Eriol."

-

_We're nearing the finish line, guys. Now that we're at this point, can anyone help me with the summary for this fic? Hahah... I'm so lost in my own fic. If you're confused, Sand Rabbits are supposed to look like Piffle's Dragonflies, only, maybe, a bit larger. _

_Thanks for reading up to this point! Here is the teaser for chapter 9._

_**Teaser:**_

"_To receive the power that will save a life, one must also give life." - Eriol_


	9. Chapter 9

_Aha! I come back from a trip abroad and I am met with an odd TRC chapitre! I spent the free time I had during my vacation to update and edit a couple of fics, so I hope these new chapters turn out okay._

_**Mesame**, yeah, the last teaser was just awful. I hope this chapter isn't. I'm not going for too much angst. Thanks for reviewing._

_**Kuropuu**, yeah, still running. It's hard to run in deep sand. Now, please excuse me for making excuses for that little plot hole._

_**DemonUntilDeath**, sorry for the horrible teaser. But I have to apologize again as I can't tell you what happens. _

_**Alyana**, Eriol, is a guy who uses magic. Can't tell you without spoiling the plot of Card Captor Sakura._

_**Hayai Akurei**, thank you very much for the praise. I hope you enjoy this chapter._

_**JenniferPlague**, oh dear, am I dragging it on too long. I must be if you're forgetting it. Hope this chapter refreshes your memory._

_Wow. This fic is getting more reviews. Thanks for reviewing, everyone. But, more importantly, thanks for reading. So, without further ado, here's chapter nine._

**IX**

At thirteen, Yukito was the youngest priest to be brought into the palace ranks. Clow Reed watched as the silver haired child walked up the stairs to the entrance of Clow palace for the first time in the white ceremonial garb of the high priest. Now, with his power and wisdom, Clow Reed himself didn't really need a high priest. Clow had gone on without a priest for a number of years, as the suitable replacement for Yukito's grandfather, Clef, had yet to be found.

This ceremony was simple, but it was necessary. The covenant the temple and the throne of Clow country was an important contract. And, as it had not been done for years, it was also a spectacle to behold. Yukito knew this and he felt no small amount of nervousness as he stood in front of the king and prince of Clow. "I am Yukito, the high priest of Clow country," Yukito announced as he knelt in front of the royals who had treated him as one of their own all these years.

"I am Clow Reed, the king of Clow Country," Clow Reed replied. He did not look anything like the father figure Touya and Yukito had come to know, rather he looked a lot like the king that he truly was.

"I am Touya, the crown prince of Clow Country," Touya added. Now, Touya still looked as cheeky as ever. Clow Reed signaled for Touya to step forward and the young man did as he was told. Touya extended his right hand towards Yukito, and the high priest, although a bit surprised, accepted it with his left. The prince thought for a moment, an odd gleam lighting his eyes, before speaking, "I am the right hand and you are the left hand, one is not more important than the other. Rise, high priest Yukito, we are equals."

Murmurs spread throughout the watching crowd. The act Touya had done was an act that should have been done by the king of Clow. They wondered if Touya was succeeding his father soon or if Yukito was not going to be Clow Reed's high priest. Never mind that the contract the prince made with the high priest was also unconventional. The royal family were considered to be at the same level as the gods whom the high priestr served with their entire beings. High priest Yukito should, in no means, be equal to the king of Clow, or even the crown prince.

But, as the gods will it, so it shall be done. As Crown Prince Touya declared it, so it shall be.

Yukito and Touya's eyes met for a lingering moment. The high priest had a serious look on his face as he said, "I am the left hand and you are the right hand..." He paused. Touya had improvised and had said something completely unexpected, so he wasn't so sure what he should say.

Clow Reed's voice sounded in the high priest's head. _"Touya has spoken from his heart, high priest Yukito. Perhaps, you should speak from yours, as well."_

Yukito rose from his kneeling position, his gaze still locked onto Touya's. "I will support all of your actions and aid you in carrying your burdens." A smile broke out onto his face as he and Touya interlaced their fingers according to ceremonial custom. Touya grinned back.

Clow Reed nodded with approval. "We are bound by one body of people," Clow Reed spoke from behind Touya. "The right hand of the throne and the left hand of the temple forever work together under the head of the Ones that created this country."

The boys raised their locked hands and the people cheered.

"My body, my soul, and my life," Yukito told Touya, speaking in low tones that could only be heard due to their close proximity. "I was born to serve the king and Clow country with all these things and all my abilities. I gladly give them to you."

"Don't be silly, Yuki," Touya answered. "This doesn't make us any different from before. I am still To-ya and you are still Yuki."

These words were touching to the high priest, "All the more reason for me to promise you these things."

-

Touya couldn't run as fast as the Rabbits could move but his desperation propelled him forward. It didn't help that a strange feeling washed over him at the sound of some unearthly whistling music coming from the foreign mage. He froze in his tracks barely a few yards from the small group made up of his sister, Yukito, and Fai as the strange feeling became stronger into something that strangely reminded him of his father's presence. Then, the blue-eyed blond produced a hypnotic light show that drew into the sky a fine lace of blue. Touya then recognized the feeling: it was the feeling of powerful magic.

The white creature he had seen Sakura so worried about woke up the moment Fai's magic had surrounded them all. As Touya found his legs and drew nearer, a red light emanated from the white thing's forehead. A boy appeared in the midst of the red light and he was once again reminded of his father.

Touya arrived in time to hear the boy introduce himself, "My name is Eriol." The boy momentarily acknowledged the young king's presence, a mysterious smile touching his lips. But, as Touya was outside the bubble and was partially hidden by a sand dune, the two other mages didn't show any sign of noticing him.

"Eriol-san, we need to ask Yuuko for something," the desperation in Yukito's voice could not be hidden and this made Touya's attention snap from the boy who evoked the presence of the former king of Clow towards the high priest. "We need her help."

"Yuki...?" Touya murmured thoughtfully. What did his childhood friend need that he couldn't provide? Why was Yukito so reluctant to tell him? What was going on? He kept quiet, however, trying to listen in on the conversation.

"I'm sure if Yuuko-san left someone in charge," Fai appeared somewhat more nonchalant than Yukito, but being calmer and having more experience, he was actually the more scrupulous of the two. He quickly saw something in the glow of the eyes of the black-haired child from Yuuko's dimension. He had heard of people having "old souls" and this was the only way he could describe the boy. By his reckoning, this boy could well be as powerful as Yuuko herself. "She would leave someone capable."

"But..." Yukito began to protest. Though he was reminded of Clow Reed, his wish was far too great to be granted by a mere child. "...with all due respect, it might be too difficult."

"Don't worry," Eriol reassured the high priest. "Trust that I will do everything I can to grant your wish."

"Uhm!" Mokona back up Eriol. "Don't worry, Eriol has very strong magic. Mokona can sense it through the black Mokona."

Yukito glanced at Fai, uncertainty painting his features. Fai simply nodded, then smiled up at the boy Mokona projected. Yukito's golden gaze pierced Eriol's deep eyes and the younger boy did not seem perturbed in any way. The silver-haired youth's eyes wandered towards the direction of the princess whose hands were pressed against the confining bubble Fai had created. This sight made him decide. Despite his fears, Yukito decided that it was better to take his chances than to stand there, hesitating and doing nothing useful. "Eriol-san," he began, his voice wavering somewhat. He took a deep breath and repeated himself. "Eriol-san, I would like to make a wish," he announced in a stronger, better resolved tone.

"I see," Eriol almost appeared to know what would happen next. He stole another look in Touya's direction, and sent a message to the young king to come nearer and be a better withness. "And what would that be?"

Touya took the bait and approached, cautiously. Yukito was too lost in thought to notice.

"I want to get all of my powers back," Yukito declared, he balled up his fists with determination. "I want to get my powers back to save Sakura-hime."

"Yuki!" Touya stopped midstep, surprised. "What do you mean?" was all he managed to say before running forward to go to his friend. The barrier stopped him. He didn't have magic.

Realizing that he had just revealed his current uselessness and deception to the king, the drive Yukito felt to redeem himself and help his kingdom and king pushed him on. He gave Touya an apologetic look.

"To receive the power to save a life, one must give life," Eriol announced his price. "Are you willing to give up your own life to regain your powers?"

"No, Yuki, don't do it!" Touya shouted from the sidelines. Fai's bubble kept him away, but he hammered his fists on the intricate barrier. "I don't know what's going on, but I'm sure we can find a way to fix things without you losing your life!"

Yukito, for once in his life, ignored his king. "Will I be able to save Sakura-hime?" he addressed Eriol.

"Your powers will return and you will be able to use them," Eriol responded with a smile. "It is an equivalent price. If you pay your price, we will not betray you."

"That's good," for the first time in a long while, Yukito sighed with relief and genuine happiness at the thought that he would die doing what he believed he was always meant to do: serve Touya, Sakura, and Clow country.

"But," Eriol gave fair warning. "Even if you get your powers, I cannot guarantee that you will be able to save the princess. How you use your powers is up to you."

Yukito nodded, "I understand."

Outside, Touya couldn't believe what was happening. It was his father's death all over again. It was Sakura's fate all over again. He instinctively fought back the sobs forming in his throat. He had to be strong, as the king of Clow. But, to lose what he had left, it was too much for the young king. "Please, stop it, Yuki," he begged, tears beginning to fall.

The idea of losing what was left of his family was something he would not be able to bear. And the fact that tears were falling, this showed him how much this hurt him. After all, the last time he shed tears like this was when his father died.

-

"Come, my people, people of Clow country, let us celebrate!" ironically, these were some of the first words Touya said as a king.

Touya's coronation was one of the most difficult days of his life despite the glory it bestowed upon him. "Oniisama," Sakura, who was a vision in her formal clothes, came up to him after the ceremony, at the start of the festivities. "Congratulations. You're king now. I know you'll do well."

"Sakura..." These words from his sister meant a lot. He knew he shouldn't be surprised because it was in the little girl's nature to be so conscientious of others. But still, Sakura, herself was still in mourning.

Sakura fidgeted shyly. "It's because you looked so sad just now," she explained. "Syaoran and I went out to make this." She handed her brother a crown of flowers.

"Syaoran?" Touya raised an eyebrow at the familiar address. He grinned playfully at the little girl in front of him. "Well, well, the flowers are beautiful, even if they were picked by a little monster like you."

"I am not a monster!" Sakura automatically responded indignantly. She proceeded to stomp on her older brother's foot. "Oniisama is so mean!"

"Now, now, heika-sama," Yukito scolded from behind Touya. "Don't tease Sakura." He patted the princess' head. "Hime-sama, could you go with Syaoran-kun for a moment? Heika-sama has some things to attend to. He'll be much busier now that he's king."

Sakura gave her brother one last worried look before going off to find the archeologist's son.

"Tch," Touya began, frowning irritably. "'Syaoran...' since when did they become so familiar with each other?"

"Don't think much of it, heika-sama," Yukito replied. "They are childhood friends, after all." He led the king away from the feast and into Clow Reed's former chambers—the room Touya would be inheriting. In the privacy of the room, Yukito continued. "More importantly, your majesty, are you alright? Sakura's already exhausted her tears, but you have not shed even one."

"How would you know that?" Touya inquired, piqued that he had been figured out easily again. But, even then, his voice still cracked at the weight of his burdens as a grieving son and a newly crowned king.

Yukito didn't answer his question. "You are strong, To-ya, and you will make a wonderful king. But your father told me to tell you this: even a king needs to cry." And with that, he took his king's right hand with his left.

Touya drew Yukito nearer and for the first time, Touya, King of Clow, wept.

-

"Please don't, Yuki! I can't lose another important person!" Touya shouted out his protests to deaf ears. "Yuki!"

Only Eriol paid heed to Touya and gave him a sympathetic look. He noted that Yukito was steadfastly keeping his golden gaze on him. This was difficult for both young men, the boy decided. "I will grant your wish," he said.

Eriol didn't say or do anything after that, but Yukito began seeing the magical flow around him. For the first time, he realized just how powerful a magic-user the blond beside him was. He blinked at Fai questioningly for a moment, but the Celes mage only smiled at him. "To-ya, my powers are back," Yukito finally acknowledged his king, a sad apology written all over his face.

_Hahah! I'm sorry for not making the meaning of the last teaser clear. The flashbacks were too long. But, here's the next teaser. Thanks for reading! Sorry for dragging it!_

_**Teaser:**_

"_Thank you, Eriol-san," Yukito said. He was sad, but satisfied. With Touya and Sakura safe and his job done the priest allowed himself to succumb to darkness._


	10. Chapter 10

_This is a short one. It should have been part of the previous chapter, actually. I don't rightly remember why I made it separately._

_Oh, thanks to __**JenniferPlague, Alexi Moonshine,** and **Attiqah Gensui**__ for their reviews. _

_ Here's chapter ten!  
_

**X**

Elsewhere, Kurogane managed to disable—read: destroy—Syaoran's Rabbit and had already knocked the boy unconscious. As he picked the boy up, a sharp sting in his upper arm caught his attention. Syaoran had attacked him the moment he brought his Rabbit to full speed and cut the younger man's vehicle off. The ninja stared hard at the boy in his arms. Before Syaoran passed out, he somehow regained himself and called out, "Hime..." There was no confusion, only a heartfelt apology.

"Brat," he grumbled. "What the hell is going on here?" He glanced up at the feather shining above their heads before dropping Syaoran unceremoniously into the Rabbit. He drove his Rabbit back to where the rest of the group had converged. His eyes narrowed suspiciously somewhat when he saw the familiar blue lace of light surrounding the wizard, priest, the princess, and a very active manjuu. "Damn stupid cryptic magician," he muttered.

-

Touya was already in tears, "Yuki...why?"

Yukito reached beyond the barrier, expending enough magic to allow his hand to break through. "Some things are just inescapable, To-ya," he explained as he soothed the king's face with gentle fingers and wiped away salty streams with his thumb. He directed a meaningful look at Fai. "These things, which are inevitable."

Fai said nothing.

"I cannot use my powers outside this bubble because the Sakura-hime's powers combined with the magic of the ruins would interfere with them," Yukito said to Fai. "How long can you keep this barrier, Fai-san?"

Fai shrugged, "I can keep it up for a while longer."

"I cannot seal the power of the ruins without sealing the feather. The spell and the princess' magic—these two are completely melded into each other so that not even Mokona can touch the feather," the high priest continued. "Now, all I can do is activate the spell and seal the memories of the one who receives it straightaway."

"But that leaves one question," Eriol pointed out. "Who will receive the feather?"

Fai, again, kept his silence, eyeing the boy Mokona projected with no small amount of curiosity.

Kurogane's first thought when he heard those words as he set the Rabbit down beside the Fai's bubble was that at another time, Syaoran would have quickly volunteered. Such a risk was something the boy would willingly take without hesitation if it meant recovering part of Sakura's memories. But he had knocked the boy unconscious. The princess was out of the question, because who knew what would happen if she lost her feathers again. That left him and the mage...

"I'll do it," Touya declared, his cheeks still damp but already with his dry eyes. He picked himself up off the sand. "Let me receive the feather."

"But, To-ya," it was Yukito's turn to protest. "Your memories could get scattered and as you don't have enough magic, you could even die. What would happen to the people of Clow?"

That was a sore point. When the people of Clow lost Sakura, they mourned deeply, but to lose their king as well? But, Touya was not even shaken. His next words were ones that he meant with all his heart, "I trust you, Yuki." He eyed the boy that was with Kurogane, "And it's about time I had a part in Sakura's recovery."

"So," Fai asked Yukito. "What are you going to do?"

Yukito's brows were knitted with concern, but they didn't have a lot of options. And, it was not fair to demand that Kurogane or Syaoran do such a dangerous thing. He drew in a deep breath and studied his king's face. Touya smiled at him reassuringly. "Everything will be fine," Yukito told himself as he lifted his hands to summon the feather down. As the feather floated down, he instructed Touya. "Take the feather when I tell you to and not a moment sooner."

Touya nodded.

Yukito began to chant a spell of sealing, but the feather was moving towards the king too fast. Both Eriol and Fai noticed this. So, for some reason, before the feather reached Touya, it quickly slowed down and came to a halt inches away from the royal chest. Fai raised an eyebrow at Eriol and Eriol's eyebrows lifted in response. Kurogane just glared at the two 'damn suspicious magicians'.

With Yukito's spell set-up, he called out to Touya to take the feather.

Touya took the feathers with his left hand and immediately, the ruins began to rumble and the winds picked up. The ruins and Touya glowed a peculiar shade of red. Wings of gold larger than Sakura's sprang out from the king's back. Yukito allowed his sealing spell to take effect and a protective bubble enclosed Touya before the feathers spread out and flew off.

Trapped inside Yukito's seal, the feathers were fast reabsorbed by Touya.

Once the last memory was reabsorbed, Yukito removed the seal and rushed to catch the king. The physical trauma of losing his memories and getting them all back again in such a short time, left him unconscious. Fai caught Sakura's feather and handed it over to the sleeping princess before it caused any more trouble. With the feather gone, the magical interference dispersed and the magical barrier was no longer needed.

"It looks like everything went well," Eriol commented as the blue light faded and Mokona remained awake.

"Thank you, Eriol-san," Yukito said. He was sad, but satisfied. With Touya and Sakura safe and his job done the priest allowed himself to succumb to darkness.

"Oi!" Kurogane called out, but Fai held up his hand and went over to the priest and the king lying on the sand. He tried to shake the priest awake. "Get a hold of yourself!"

"They'll be alright," Fai told the ninja. He examined the desert and noted that there was only one functioning Rabbit left. There were four people passed out and there were two people and one Mokona awake. "But, it looks like we have some carrying to do."

"You're going to have to do some work this time," Kurogane told the magician. He glared when Fai held up Mokona. "And it's not just carrying Mokona."

-

_**Teaser:**_

"_Yuki...Please don't leave me alone, not like this..." -_ Touya

"_I just remembered before I lost my feathers. There was something very important I wanted to say to you." _- Sakura


	11. Chapter 11

_Ah, hear we go. I'm still fanning myself from the fan service we got from CLAMP. Here is chapter eleven. I hope you like it._

_Oh, thanks to __**JenniferPlague**__ for reviewing. And Touya won't be knocked out for months, else this would be even longer than it already is. _

**XI**

"Hyuu!" Fai dropped onto the bed, "That was a lot of work, Kuro-tan! It's a good thing Sakura-chan woke up when she did, or else you'd have had to carry two!"

"What are you talking about? I did carry two!" Kurogane growled as he sat on his bed, memories of having to carry Yukito and Syaoran half of the way to the palace from the ruins playing in his head. The princess, Mokona, and the unconscious Touya took the remaining Sand Rabbit. Fai had carried Syaoran, at first, while he carried the high priest, but Fai complained of exhaustion, which was understandable considering the heat, and later on passed Syaoran over to him.

The ninja glared at the uninvited occupant of his bed. "What are you doing in my room, anyway? Go back to your own room!"

"But it's so faaaaaaaar!" Fai reasoned out in a whiny voice, his smile never faltering. "And I'm so tiiiiiiiired! I did help you carry Syaoran-kun! But Kuro-chan looked so cool carrying Syaoran-kun and Yukito-san at the same time!"

The ninja didn't have the energy to argue so he threw one last acid look in the mage's direction and sat down on the bed. He had something he wanted to ask the blond, anyway. "You used your magic despite that interference. Not even Mokona could function normally here."

"It was just a little trick, Kuro-kun," Fai replied flippantly, but his smile was just a shade wider than usual and his eyes were hidden by his arm. "You're giving me way too much credit. My magical type is different from Yuuko-san's, Yukito-san's, and the feather's so I wasn't affected too much. Anyone who has a little bit of magical ability can tell you that."

Kurogane faced the magician and pulled the arm covering blue eyes away, pinning them to the side of Fai's head. He studied those eyes and watched the emotions in them storm over from surprise to fear to sadness and regret in mere seconds. And then, all emotions were quickly checked and buried. "I really don't understand you," the ninja stood from the bed and walked towards the door. "Fai..." he trailed off, stopping whatever it was he had earlier intended to say and dismissing it with a shake of his head. The name felt so foreign on his lips. He opened the door and left.

Fai lay there, his arm once again hiding his eyes. When he was sure the ninja was gone, he removed his arm and stared up at the ceiling. "If there's something you want to say, Kuro-pon, say it, if you want to," he murmured to the person who was no longer there. "But, I'm afraid I don't have the same courage."

-

"Sakura-hime."

At the sound of the gentle call of the high priest, the Clow princess turned away from the stringed instrument she had been practicing playing on. She smiled brightly at her brother's dearest friend and her adopted older brother and second sort-of father figure. "Yukito-san!" she greeted him happily, setting aside the instrument in her hands and standing up from her seat. "How are you?"

Yukito's golden eyes were temporarily hidden as he, himself, fondly smiled in return. A familiar wave of happiness passed through Sakura as she gazed at one of the men who had taken care of her for most part of her life. She had been feeling somewhat lonely these past few days. Both Touya and Yukito had hectic schedules recently and she only saw them at dinnertime. She had spent part of her days with her tutors, but she didn't have a lot of duties other than her lessons.

"It's a rather busy day for me, princess," the high priest replied as he came closer. He wasn't complaining, only answering the question asked him. Evidence of his words was the numerous parchments and scrolls he carried in his arms.

"Oh," Sakura was a bit disappointed, but the reply didn't dampen her spirit. She had to keep her mood up for both Touya and Yukito and support them. After all, that was all she could do at that point. "Well, good luck, then," she said in her usual cheerful manner.

"Thank you," Yukito remained as placidly happy as he always was. "Oh yes," golden eyes lit up as the young man remembered something. He reached into his load of the Clow world version of paperwork and pulled out a small rolled up piece of paper. Unlike the other materials the fair-headed man was carrying, this document was new. He handed it to the princess. "It's the newest summary report on the archeological expedition in the ruins. Heika-sama will listen to the report from the excavation team's leaders later this afternoon."

"The archeological team is coming back for a report?" Sakura's face brightened up even more and with less effort than before at the implications of Yukito's words. "Then that means..."

Knowing what was meant, the high priest merely nodded.

"...he's coming home!" the young girl cheered happily and she ran off to get ready. She turned back to wave at the high priest. "Thanks, Yukito-san!"

Yukito, again, only smiled back albeit a bit sadly, as if there was something else in his mind that he wanted to say. He returned to his duties as high priest just as the princess was out of sight.

Soon, Sakura was running down the streets of Clow kingdom, through the well-memorized path to the late archeologist Fujitaka's house. _I will definitely tell him now..._ Sakura resolved to herself as she drew nearer. That thought made her blush and her heart beat faster. It also caused her to hesitate and slow down a bit. _But, how can I...?_

Her train of thought was cut when, in the distance, she saw a cloaked figure entering the small home and the excitement and anticipation of seeing someone precious to her welled up inside her again and filled her with more energy. She marched up to the door of the house and knocked.

"Yes?" a young male voice spoke from the inside as the door was opened.

And that nameless energy built up within Sakura's body even more from the moment she heard that voice to the point that the door opened. By the time the face of the person inside was revealed, there was so much of that energy in the princess that she couldn't contain herself and she jumped.

"Syaoran!"

"Wha—!"

And the two of them toppled down into a heap onto the floor of the tiny home. It hurt a bit to fall like that, but that energy stayed and Sakura just didn't care.

She was happy to be in the arms of the man she loved.

-

"Syaoran-kun..." Sakura held tightly the hand of the man who had made collecting her feathers his mission. Worry and sadness was etched on her face. In her memories, she called Syaoran so fondly by his name and without honorifics the way dear friends were supposed to, but now, she had so gotten used to the more polite 'Syaoran-kun'. A tear of remorse fell out of one of her emerald eyes. "...why didn't you say anything to me? For me to call you 'Syaoran-kun' and for you to call me 'hime' when all this time..."

Another tear escaped her, followed by another and another...

Before she lost her memories, she had always known that her dear friend loved her back. They both knew how they felt about each other, but the young man kept the "unspoken" unspoken because a commoner—much more, a foreign commoner—could not marry a princess.

Only she, Sakura-hime, could change that rule.

Fujitaka's son had waited patiently for her. But, Sakura had always been afraid to say the words. She had tried so many times to speak the unspoken so the rule could be changed, but at that time, she hadn't been strong enough. It wasn't the interruptions of her brother; it was her that was the problem. Despite the haze of her memories, Sakura knew that the ones in the last feather she had received were fairly recent.

She just knew in her heart that she had never said anything to Syaoran, not yet.

"...Syaoran-kun..." she whimpered helplessly as she placed the limp hand to her face. "...it must have been so hard. I'm so sorry..."

Whatever happened that he couldn't remember had given Syaoran a big headache. Thankfully, his missing eye was not throbbing as it had been since the time they arrived in Clow country. Above the pain registered the damp warmth of a tearstained cheek touching his hand. Before he found his voice, he recognized hers calling out to him, apologizing for something he did not know. "Hime...?"

"Syaoran-kun!" Sakura was jolted out of her self-deprecating. All regret fled from her as she saw the apparent pain he was still in. "How are you feeling?" She hastily wiped away her tears with her hands, but Syaoran captured one of those hands gently and held on to it.

Syaoran managed to turn himself to his side to face her and reach out with his free hand to wipe away the tears he had not seen in such a long time. "Hime," he murmured, still somewhat bewildered as he was more used to her waking up to his face rather than the other way around. "You've been crying," the statement was matter-of-factly, but more concerned. "Please don't cry. I'm alright." He sat up slowly, subconsciously not letting go of her hand.

"It's not just that..." The princess of Clow stared at her childhood friend longingly. As he gazed at her with so much tenderness, that energy that had led her to his house that day began to grow inside her once again. "It's not just what happened today," she managed. She drew her hands back to her heart and felt it beating so rapidly and strongly. Her face burned red. "...Syaoran-kun..."

Syaoran watched her earnestly. He almost knew what was coming, but he wasn't sure whether he wanted to hear it. To hear her speak those words that they had kept unspoken for so very long would be a dream come true, but the thought that she would forget about it soon after gnawed at him so painfully.

"…I just remembered that before I lost my feathers. There was something very important I wanted to say to you."

Syaoran held his breath. Even if she did remember everything that happened between the two of them, even if, by some glorious miracle, the Witch of Dimension's prince was overlooked, he was still having these peculiar blackouts that may endanger the princess. He couldn't be selfish. He had to be distant and being that way would be impossible if she told him she loved him. _If she said those words while looking into my eyes..._

He steeled himself for what he had to say and kept his expression hidden under the shadows of his hair. "I'm sorry, hime, if you don't mind, I'm still not feeling very well. Could we do this another time?"

Sakura was crestfallen. She put on a smile but, this time, not without a hint of disappointment turning the corners of her mouth down ever so slightly. "It's okay. Maybe you should rest here for a while. I'll go see how the others are doing." She stepped out of the room and sighed. That nameless energy drained from her even quicker than it had come. "I love you, Syaoran," she whispered to the hallway.

The moment Sakura left the room, Syaoran buried his face into his hands and wept.

_...there will be no way to hide how I feel._

Sometimes, Yuuko's price was so hard to pay.

-

There was only darkness and that was all he was aware of. There was no sensation about him. He knew no words, he knew no names, he knew nothing. He was only aware of the darkness. He didn't even know that what surrounded him was nothingness as he had no thing to compare nothing with.

And then, a brilliant light appeared in front of him. He saw a curious gold feather floating in front of him. He didn't even know what it was, but he felt drawn to it. He reached out to it. The feather was drawn to him as well. Once he and the feather touched, the feather entered him and suddenly, he realized that he was cold, because the feather brought him warmth and feeling. He realized silence as he realized his own voice. With the feather inside him, he began to recognize the darkness because he had already seen light.

He began to feel scared of the nothingness around him the moment he recognized it.

And then, a brilliant light, like the light of a great flame, burned his back. He turned and saw a mass of feathers, like the one he saw and accepted only moments before. And, he was drawn to them as they were drawn to him. But, even before the mass of beautiful golden feathers reached him, a small downy feather, much smaller than the others, appeared in front of him and touched his nose. He accepted it.

And then, he remembered.

"_To-ya, my powers are back."_

A tear fell from a bewildered brown eye as the rest of the feathers enveloped him and entered him.

"Yuki...Please don't leave me alone, not like this..."

-

Mokona heard the muttering of the unconscious king beside him. "Heika-sama," the _manjuu_ called to the king, worriedly. Mokona had heard the name the brunet had called so the little creature stole a glance at the high priest sleeping on the adjacent bed.

Both men, Touya and Yukito, were placed in the Touya's chambers so it would be easier to look after them.

The white Mokona waddled over to the sleeping king and tried to comfort him, but Touya remained distressed. At that moment, Fai came into the room.

"Fai," Mokona said , hopping up to the mage. "I feel a deep loneliness in Touya-heika's heart and I can't seem to do anything."

Fai lifted the white bun up so they were face to face and looked Mokona in the eye. "There are some kinds of loneliness that only one person can heal." And then a sad smile broke over the blond's face. His mind drifted off to a cold pool in Celes guarded by a beautiful girl.

"I understand, Fai," Mokona acknowledged, sensing the blond's feelings.

"You know what, Mokona," Fai said holding Mokona a little bit closer. "There are still a lot of things that need to be sorted out, so its good that it will take a little more time before the magical interference clears up completely. You're very kind to be looking out for us like this."

"Uhm," Mokona rubbed Fai's cheek with a paw. "Fai is also very kind for looking after everyone."

Surprised, but not displeased, Fai found himself initially at a loss for words. When he found his voice he said, "Thank you for saying that, Mokona." But, in reality, he didn't believe what was said. He knew himself well and he was selfish and a coward. He didn't look after anyone, not even himself. The small warmth that the words gave him, Fai felt like he didn't deserve it, but it was still there and gave Fai's smile a hint of sincerity.

_-_

_This chapter's done! I hope it wasn't too painful to read. Skewed timeline, sorry about that, but it had to be done. I can't believe I'm close to finishing my first TRC multi-chapter fanfic! Yay! Maybe I'll finally finish my other multi-chapter fics, as well._

_Sorry for the poorly written angst. I may be an angsty person, but I'm horrible at putting the emotion into words._

_Hope you enjoyed. Thanks for reading. My only teaser for the next chapter would be: get ready for lots of flashbacks!_


	12. Chapter 12

_For those of you who are confused by the new title, I opted to change it out of respect for the author of another fic with the title "Raison d' Etre". Well, the title pretty much means the same thing. _

_This chapter is full of flashbacks. I hope it doesn't get too confusing. Also, I recently realized that Touya's title should be "Ou" and not "Heika". I'll be editing the other chapters later on, when the net connection is better, but here, I've begun to use "ou"._

_Thanks for the reviews! I'll reply to you guys privately._

**XII**

"There is a warm feeling in his heart," Mokona told his gathered audience of Sakura, Fai, and Kurogane. A few servants were bustling about the room and their pace suddenly pepped up at the unsolicited news about their king.

Sakura was relieved to hear this. She stroked her brother's hair gently. "Do you think he's..." she paused, trying to study her brother's face. "...dreaming about our mother?" She had been in that position so many times before, asleep and dreaming about the past, but she still couldn't tell what was going on in his head.

The hint of longing in Sakura's voice was not missed by any of the others. "Sakura..." Mokona extended a paw.

"I'm okay, Moko-chan," Sakura forced her smile out. It was not as phony as some other person's because she was genuinely happy and grateful for the concern, but it wasn't as bright as it usually was. It was understandable, though. She was under a lot of stress. With both the king and the high priest out of commission, she was the new head of the state. And, it didn't help, of course, that lately Syaoran was not by her side. It was probably a good thing that there was an army of advisers who were ready to become the de facto kings of Clow for a while. Things had been that way for over a week.

Fai watched Sakura silently while Kurogane scrutinized Fai. The ninja knew the mage knew more about what was happening than he was letting on, but, not surprisingly, the blond was not talking.

As she watched her brother sleep, Sakura began softly singing a song she would later on claim was something their parents, and later on Touya and Yukito used to sing to her to put her to sleep.

-

_The stars twinkling above,_

_Like the glittering grains of sand_

_Are more than we can count_

The queen gently stroked her young son's hair as she hummed a lullaby softly. The lullaby was an old Clow favorite with words that were memorized by every mother and child in the country. She smiled gently down at her son who had yet to even yawn, her green eyes sparkling and full of love. "Touya," she spoke in a very mellow voice. "You better sleep now. Tomorrow will be a big day for you."

"Why is that, 'Kaasan?" the little prince inquired, earthen eyes full of curiosity. "What will happen tomorrow?"

"Because you will meet someone," it wasn't the one he directed the question to that answered. At the door of his bedroom stood his father, with gentle laughter and unfathomable wisdom drawn in his kind gaze.

The prince sat up when he heard the king's voice. "'Tousan!" the boy was excited because he rarely spent time with his father. "Who will I meet?"

The noble king of Clow walked to the large bed that looked even larger given that the occupant was a still tiny prince. Clow-ou sat opposite his wife on the bed and placed a hand on the dark head of his son, "Someone very important."

"Important?" Touya blinked, somewhat confused. "Like Lady Hikaru and Lord Lantis?"

"No," Clow-ou replied patiently. "Someone who will affect your future."

Those words were even more cryptic to the young boy, "Affect...my future...?"

"Now," the queen guided the boy so he was lying back down on the bed. "It's getting late, you should sleep."

Like the promises of a good tomorrow 

-

"Touya, he is here."

There, in the middle of the shadows of the many pillars, a silver head stood out. The sight of a beautiful young boy crying quietly, obviously about something that distressed him, mesmerized Touya. The sobbing boy was initially oblivious to his surroundings but tried to stop crying when it finally occurred to him that the royal father and son were already there. He was still sniffling when he faced Touya and Clow and, he was ashamed to show his tearstained face to royalty.

Touya reached into his pocket and pulled out the kerchief his mother always made him carry. He held it out to the crying child. "Don't cry. Here, wipe your tears."

A golden gaze hesitantly peeked up at him. There was something in those golden eyes that captured Touya and made him want to grow up to be a good king to take care of this boy and all others like him. Touya knew at that moment that his father had been right about him meeting an important person. The other boy's eyes shifted from Touya's face to the handkerchief, but he remained mute and did not do anything other than stare.

Not really knowing what to do, the prince of Clow frowned, slightly frustrated and confused. He thought for a moment before using the piece of cloth in his hand to wipe the tear-stained face in front of him. "My name is Touya," he began speaking in the middle of his task. "My father said you're going to come live with us. What's your name?"

The answer came hesitantly and with so much vulnerability, "Y...Yukito."

"Alright, Yukito, welcome to the palace," Touya grinned widely as he put away the handkerchief. "Don't cry anymore, I promise, I'll take good care of you."

-

"How's Yukito-san?" Sakura asked the healer, who had just finished taking the vitals of the two unconscious men. She well knew that Touya would eventually wake up again, but she wasn't very sure as to what had happened to the high priest. No one had informed her about the price he paid, and she was worried about their silence.

Whenever something was withheld from her in this journey, it was often something serious and tragic.

Was that, what Fai and Kurogane were keeping from her, the reason why Syaoran was so distant?

-

"Sakura," the young prince led the even younger princess into the royal bedchambers by hand. The princess toddled along, but stopped when her older brother stopped right in front of the large doors. He crouched low so that he was face to face with the little girl. "When we go in, I want you to tell mom that you love her very much, and then..." he took a deep breath as his voice began to crack.

He had to be strong, for Sakura's sake. He couldn't cry in front of his little sister.

"Oniichan?" green eyes blinked up at Touya curiously. She was confused.

Touya smiled, the tears threatening to fall from his eyes welling up. "...And then I want you to say goodbye."

-

"Touya, take good care of Sakura for me," the woman lying on the bed, despite her illness, was still quite beautiful and young. Her smile was weak, but remained radiant in the dismal mood inside the room that would have been her death chamber. She reached out to the crown prince with a shaking and sweating hand. "You've grown up to become a fine young man."

"Mother," the young brunet took the hand extended to him with one hand, while keeping a tight hold on his little sister's shoulder with the other. "Don't worry, everything will be fine." The boy tried to sound reassuring, but he was not assured of anything, himself. As an afterthought, Touya removed his hand from Sakura's shoulder and guided the small girl's tiny hands so they would meet their mother's.

Long graceful fingers grasped tiny ones too tightly for someone at the brink of life and death. "Sakura, I wish I could get to know the future you," the queen whispered. "Because I already know what a wonderful person you're going to be."

This may have confused Sakura even more than she had been when she was told to say goodbye to her mother, but the words made Touya want to cry. He held back, he had to, for Sakura's sake.

When the doctors led them out so they could continue the treatment Sakura was taken by their father to be put to bed. Touya saw Yukito standing by the door waiting for him patiently, despite the late hour.

"Yuki?"

"To-ya..."

No further words were needed as Yukito's arms wrapped around the other boy and Touya's tears began wet the priest-in-training's shoulder.

-

"Alright! Alright! I'm going, dammit!" an angry voice resounded in the hallway outside of Syaoran's room. That had shaken the young boy out of his contemplative stupor.

Syaoran sweatdropped as he watched his mentor being shoved into his room by slender white hands that were presumably Fai's. "Kurogane-san?"

Kurogane was slightly flushed and obviously uncomfortable with the task at hand. "_You've been such a good daddy, it makes sense that you talk to our son!"_ Fai's words replayed in the ninja's head. He had frowned and bit back the retort in his head. _That idiot. Although he wants to make sure that Syaoran is alright, he won't meddle in the boy's affairs because he doesn't want the boy getting involved his._

"Kurogane-san!"

The ninja sighed and walked over to the seat beside Syaoran's bed, "We need to talk."

Syaoran blinked curiously. Talk? Kurogane wanted to talk to him? That was strange. Kurogane pretty much left all of them to their own devices. The ninja watched them like a hawk, but he never forced the others to do things his way. The young archeologist nodded, "Of course."

"You and the princess," Kurogane began, his intense red gaze piercing Syaoran to the core. "Why are you avoiding her?"

Syaoran's face immediately fell. He wondered how he could explain things to the older man. He had a hard time expressing his feelings the first time around, how could he explain his reasons for distancing himself from Sakura? How could he explain the gaps in his own memory? How could he explain not remembering things he had obviously done?

"Is it because of what you told me?" Kurogane offered, noticing the confusion and hesitation in the boy. He had never felt any emotion such as the love that was fuelling this young man's determination so he couldn't possibly understand.

No, he had felt something similar long before. The love that he had for his mother and father—no, it was greater than that—the love he had for his home country of Suwa had pushed him to become stronger and fight harder when he was young. He frowned thoughtfully. He had forgotten that feeling until now. For a long time, under Tomoyo-hime's service, all he had felt was the need to get stronger, not this need to get stronger for a purpose, for the purpose of someone else. But, regardless, whether he recognized love or not, the love between a child and his parents or the love of a man for his country was uncomplicated. Love between two young hearts was riddled with many pains and hindrances. _But the same feelings require the same actions_, Kurogane concluded in his mind.

Syaoran had remained silent all this time, neither acknowledging nor denying Kurogane's question. Sakura remembered him. He had longed for that moment when she would tell him that she remembered who he was, how they were, but now that it was in front of him, he couldn't grab it. He couldn't savor the moment without worry. He could not take the opportunity to express himself. "Well, you see..." he began; not really knowing what words should follow.

"If it's..." Kurogane had spoken at the same time as Syaoran.

The two paused for an awkward moment. "Sorry," Syaoran was the first to recover. "Please, continue what you're saying. You came here to talk to me."

The ninja scrutinized his student for a moment before speaking again. "If it's about the princess remembering you, don't worry too much," he advised in a gruff voice. "Just do what you want to do. The princess is doing what she wants; you should, too. You haven't hesitated until now."

"Kurogane-san..." for someone who was not supposed to be articulate, Kurogane sure got his points across quite efficiently. It was true. For Sakura, he had not hesitated to fight, to sacrifice, to smile, why should he hesitate to love? He smiled at his current father figure, "Thank you." This action rewarded him with a blushing Kurogane. A sight that made him chuckle softly.

"What's so funny?" still somewhat embarrassed by the display of softness, Kurogane was still defensive and self-conscious.

Syaoran shook his head slightly. "It's nothing. You just reminded me of my father," he replied. And, indeed, the gentleness underneath all that ninja bravado was something reminiscent of the kind archeologist, Fujitaka.

Outside the room, Fai and Mokona giggled conspiringly. Though they couldn't make out what was being said, Mokona announced that, "Syaoran's loneliness has eased a bit, thanks to Kuro-rin."

And feeling better, Syaoran really was. His feelings for the princess, no matter what happened, would never change; whether she remembered him or not.

-

Touya watched as Sakura finished making a crown of flowers from the flowers of the Clow palace gardens. She was happily telling the young boy with her about things that had happened that day with her tutors while she worked. She somehow managed to give instructions about making flower crowns in between her stories.

"What are you doing, your highness?" Yukito asked as he stood beside the prince and peered over the royal shoulder. "Oh, you're watching the princess, again. You're so overprotective," Yukito teased lightly. But, he noticed that his friend was more serious than usual so he stopped.

"That boy," Touya frowned at the feeling inside him. He wasn't sure if he was just being overprotective, or if he was making up for his lack of magic by being intuitive, but he just sensed something different about the child with his sister. The child felt empty to him for some reason. "Who is he?"

"That's Syaoran-kun, the son of the archeologist heading the dig," Yukito replied.

The prince made a mental note to speak to his father about that boy hanging out with Sakura. He was somewhat surprised to hear Sakura laughing as she placed the crown of white peach blossoms on her playmate's head. Sakura had not laughed like that since their mother died. The idea that this young boy with her was someone she needed bothered Touya to no end. This Syaoran who felt so different, so...

"He doesn't belong here," was all Touya could say. Yukito didn't appear to hear him, but the whole matter stayed with the prince all day.

-

"You've got to do something!" Touya insisted to his father. He didn't know why he was so adamant. He just knew that something was going to happen to that boy and Sakura... "He's just a commoner. And there's something about him I don't trust..."

Clow Reed listened patiently, with a knowing smile on his face. "And what would you have me do?" He examined the expression of surprise and confusion on his son's face. He knew the boy was just looking out for his sister and there were many hardships ahead. But, in order to surpass them all, there was one thing that Touya and everyone else had to do.

"Believe in the future," that was the short reply of the king to his son, gazing at the ruins with his kind eyes.

-

"Fai-san?"

Fai glanced up from the sheet of paper he had been idly doodling on that afternoon. He smiled at the princess who was standing at his doorway. "Sakura-chan, your duties for the day are finished?"

"Yeah," Sakura fidgeted, suddenly shy and hesitant. "May I come in?"

Fai gestured towards his bed inviting her to sit, "Sure." He had a pretty good idea what the visit was about, so he already had his actions planned out. It was a good thing Kurogane and Syaoran had their father-son talk. That was one thing to strike off his current to-do and to-worry-about list. Sakura walked slowly to the bed and sat on it. While she was getting settled, Fai asked the question, "Is something on your mind?"

Sakura nodded. "It's about Syaoran-kun."

"Syaoran-kun?" Fai could have earned an Academy Award for his feigned surprise.

Another nod. "I remember him, now. Well, not everything about him, but I remember what we were like."

"I see," the magician nodded. "Go on."

"It must have been hard for him, during those times that I couldn't remember him," Sakura's eyes watered. She gasped when she remembered the first time she woke up in Hanshin Republic when she didn't recognize Syaoran. "It must have been very hard," she choked out as tears began to fall. "But why didn't he say anything? Why didn't he tell me?" Pleading green eyes met an understanding sapphire gaze. "Because I couldn't remember him, have his feelings changed, Fai-san?"

Fai stroked the girl's light head and took her into a gentle embrace. "Don't worry, Syaoran-kun's feelings have not changed." He stroked her back comfortingly, "That is why he is trying so hard to get all your feathers back. It is because of his feelings, and only _his_ feelings. It is because of his own heart." His words brought some relief, he knew that, but the relief was incomplete. He thought about the consequences of interfering with the Dimensional Witch's price, but figured he'd risk the consequences if only to bring both Syaoran and Sakura some happiness. Surely, the effects of his interference would not be too great because once they left Clow, Sakura would quickly lose what she had momentarily regained in Clow. Making up his mind, Fai eased Sakura away from him to look into her eyes. "Sakura-chan, I need you to listen carefully."

"Okay," Sakura bobbed her head as a sign of compliance.

Fai took a deep breath, "Syaoran-kun paid a high price to the Dimensional Witch..."

-

"Yuki."

The high priest stopped what he was doing. There was a guilty look in his eyes. He had been avoiding Touya for a while now. "Ou...sama?"

"What's going on?" the king approached his friend and caught a thin arm with his hand. He had a pretty good idea what was wrong. He gave the arm a slight tug so that his high priest would face him. "What did you see?"

The gaze was not something Yukito could easily resist. The king always had an inkling as to what was going on, anyway. "It's about Sakura..."

-

"He's the one, isn't he?" Touya had begun taking to staring out at the ruins the way his father had. But, he imagined that there was a difference. While his father always seemed to know some secret that he would carry to his grave, Touya just stood there wondering about what lay ahead for all of them. "He's the one who will save her."

Touya had asked, but he already knew the answer. He had asked the question so many times, but for some reason, he hoped Yukito's answer would one day be different.

But the expression on Yukito's face told him it wasn't.

-

He was quick to draw his sword to fight against the strangely dressed people that appeared. Were these people, anyway? They felt so strange to Touya. He hacked and slashed as he moved through the crowd of dark beings, watching as sparks flew out of their suits.

Sparks?

His wondering was interrupted by the sharp pain of metal on skin. He didn't have time to curse himself for his carelessness as another one of the black army attacked him. He knew from Yukito's predictions that these beings were from another world, so he was a bit more cautious as they seemed impervious to damage unless the damage was fatal. His steps became heavier, but he redoubled his efforts. His sister was in there!

He fought harder than he had ever fought in his life, but he knew that this was nothing compared to what that brat and his little sister would have to face. He smirked.

Some little foreigner commoner punk sure as hell wouldn't outshine the king of Clow!

At least, not in this battle.

-

"_I don't know how long this will last, but I'm sure you will forget Syaoran-kun again, soon. Even this conversation will be forgotten, Sakura-chan. All your memories of this visit will be erased. So, before you lose this chance to do what you tried to do before..."_

_...I will go to him!_ Sakura ran down the hallways of Clow palace, Fai's words ringing in her head. Because, despite everything that happened, despite the fact that she had forgotten Syaoran-kun before the journey, her feelings did not change. She made her way towards Syaoran's room. As she turned into a corner, she bumped into one of the healers.

"Hime-sama, I'm sorry," the healer bowed deeply, apologetic, but her voice was full of excitement.

"It's all right," Sakura quickly noticed the happiness in the healer's tone. "What is going on?"

"It's Ou-sama," the healer said, nearly jumping up and down. "He's awakened!"

_Nii-sama's awake! _Sakura wanted to go to Syaoran to settle matters with him, but she knew her brother would need a familiar face to wake up to. She set her own issues aside for the moment and went with the healer to the king's chambers.

-

_Whee! That's done! Hope you all enjoyed it. Hope someone liked it. If you like it (or hate it, doesn't matter), feel free to review._

_**Teaser:**_

"_A person may be born for one purpose, but may live for a completely different reason."_

_- Clow-Ou_


	13. Chapter 13

_Finally! Net access!_

_Ahahah... sorry. I have very simple and shallow joys. I'm on a posting spree, updating several fics at once. I don't know what to say, really. I hope you enjoy this chapter._

_Thanks for the reviews! I'll reply to you guys privately._

**XIII**

"He's been stirring for a while," the healer informed Sakura as she walked into the room. "We thought that he was awake earlier. His eyelids were fluttering."

"I see," the princess sat beside her brother examining the more apparent vital signs. She smiled at the servants and healers in the room. "Thank you, everyone, for taking care of him." But, try as she might, she couldn't banish the worry from her voice.

-

He felt like he was a bubble. As his memories flowed into him, he gently rose from the abyss and up into the real world. The surface was just above him, he could see it, he could easily break through it.

He reached out, but at the back of his mind, he heard his own voice.

"_Please, stop it, Yuki! I can't lose another important person!"_

What would he see beyond the surface? What would he witness when he woke up? Who would be there, who would be gone? Touya drew his mind's hand back.

"Why are you hesitating?" a young boy's voice. From memory, Touya recognized the voice to be Eriol's.

Touya turned to see the figure of a boy hidden in the darkness. As the figure parted with the shadows, he saw his father looking at him with a fond expression. "Why won't you break through?"

"What is beyond that?" Touya asked, drawing back from the surface.

"You know," Clow-Ou replied with a small knowing smile. "You know what is beyond that."

"I know that if I go beyond that, I will return," the younger king admitted, but his face fell. "But what is waiting for me there? What is in that place?"

Clow-Ou couldn't help reaching out to ruffle his son's hair. "Sakura-hime is waiting for you, Clow kingdom is waiting for you," he said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

Touya's expression did not change. "He will not be there, will he?"

"That person has fulfilled his reason for being born. He has finished the task that was appointed to him by the universe so that the inevitable could happen," the old king of Clow replied.

These words brought tears to the son's eyes. He clenched his hands into fists, trying his best to quell the flow, but his battle was not one he could win, not in this world where all his emotions were so clear to him.

"But," gentle fingers wiped away Touya's tears and Touya looked up to meet his father's eyes. "That person will not die because he has a reason to live. He will only die once that reason is gone."

"I don't understand," the younger man spoke between sobs.

"A person may be born for one purpose, but may live for a completely different reason," was the wiser one's reply. "That person has a reason to live, Touya-Ou. Break through and he will not die."

"But the price..."

That question remained unanswered as Clow-Ou disappeared from his sight and Touya was left alone in the darkness. He stared at the surface and touched it tentatively, before squeezing his eyes and pushing through.

-

All the voices that called out to him as he passed that void between sleep and wakefulness were familiar to him. He didn't recognize any of them, yet. His mind was still to jumbled for that, but he knew that he knew those voices.

"Your Majesty!"

"Oniisama!"

"_To-ya..."_

Touya blinked away the light as his eyes were not used to it. The last voice, he knew, was one that brought much warmth to his heart. This time, it brought a sudden coldness to him because it sounded so far away. A warm hand on his registered in his consciousness and then, one by one, other sensations came rushing in giving him a massive headache.

"Oniisama!" Sakura called out, holding her brother's hand between her own. Her heart was beating so fast. She was just happy that her brother was waking up. She prayed that, unlike her, he would have no gaps in his memory.

The king finally managed to acceptably focus his vision and he blinked at his little sister, still a bit disoriented. "Sakura?" Sakura went on that trip with the brat, right? Oh yes, they returned a few days ago. They would be leaving again soon. An ache in Touya's chest made him wince.

"Are you okay, oniisama?" Sakura asked worriedly.

Touya nodded. "Yeah," he managed to rasp out. Speaking was difficult. His throat felt so dry. How long had it been since he last had a drink? One of the healers handed Sakura a glass of warm water, which she offered to her newly awakened sibling. Touya drank from the glass slowly. He used the brief stillness, as everyone was watching him intently, to get his bearings. "What happened?"

The servants and healers lowered their eyes, not knowing the answer to the question. Sakura was a bit flustered knowing that all that had happened had been kept from everyone in the room. She hesitated for a moment before answering her brother. "Don't you remember?"

"Everything's still a bit fuzzy," Touya admitted. He had enough perception to notice that his sister couldn't speak freely with the servants and healers milling about. He turned to them, "Please leave us for a moment." Then, added as an afterthought, "Tell the foreigners to come here."

The servants bowed and left. Sakura appeared a bit relieved as she stared at the large hand in hers. "You remember me. Do you remember Yukito-san?"

Touya made a sign of affirmation. He paused, remembering that far away voice that had called to him as he woke up. "Where's Yukito?"

Sakura suddenly looked sad and she gestured towards the bed at the other side of the room.

Touya's heart lurched at the sight. Yukito's bed was closer to the window and the Clow moonlight made the high priest's body look as pale as death.

"_To-ya, my powers are back."_

"Is he...?" the king couldn't bear to ask the question.

"No," Sakura replied in a subdued tone, as if she was worried her voice could wake the man on the other side of the room up. "Fai-san said he used too much magic. He hasn't woken up since you two were brought back from the desert."

"I see."

They were silent for a few moments. The king took to studying his sister, as if for the first time, to distract himself from thoughts about his high priest. He couldn't help but think that this young woman in front of him was a much more grown up version of the one in his memories, though physically she was little different. And this young woman was sorely worried about Yukito. It appeared that no one had bothered to tell her the price Yukito had to pay in order to get his magic back.

It was wonderful how his thoughts decided to loop right back to Yukito. He felt a lump forming in his throat.

He forced himself to swallow. There really was no point in worrying Sakura any more. "I dreamt of otousama while I was asleep," Touya told Sakura softly, distracting her from her thoughts. "He told me that Yukito would not die, so don't worry too much." Even with all his willpower, he felt his voice crack at the name. He was grateful that it was imperceptible to his pensive sister whose green eyes lit up with hope.

"Really?"

"Yes," the young man reassured his little sister. "As long as he has a reason to keep living, he will not die."

"Oniichan?" Sakura had a calm and musing expression as she fixed her gaze on the high priest. But they were interrupted by a soft knock on the door.

"Come in," Touya figured it was the foreigners traveling with Syaoran and Sakura and he figured right.

Kurogane and Fai bowed politely before approaching the royal bed. Fai smiled at his "daughter" and said, "Sakura-chan, Syaoran-kun is looking for you. Perhaps you have something to talk about?"

Sakura shook her head violently as Fai spoke, her face as red as a tomato. No! Syaoran-kun's name must never be mentioned in front of Touya-Ou!

"It's alright," a mere few days ago, Touya would never have said his next words, but there really. "You should go check up on Syaoran-kun."

Sakura was floored, surprised. Even Kurogane raised an eyebrow. But, the look of "not surprised" on Fai's face was more the cause of that than anything else. Touya never called Syaoran by name. It was always "brat" or "archeologist-brat" or "annoying kid" or something along those lines. And even under physical torture—well, Sakura stomping on his foot repeatedly—Touya never allowed her to meet with Syaoran alone.

"Are you sure, 'niichan?" Sakura asked. There was more worry in her voice, now. Maybe Touya hit his head too hard.

"Why not?" A peculiar gleam appeared in Touya's eye, "I'm sure a little monster like you can take care of yourself. And, don't worry, we can hear your stomping and your stomach growling from all the way over—ouch!" the king cried out as an elbow somehow landed on his hand.

"I am not a monster!"

Touya could almost hear a mild tenor scold him for teasing. _"Ou-sama, you shouldn't say that about the princess."_ But the voice never came and Touya found himself saddened by the fact. Sakura was Yukito's reason for being. Helping Sakura fulfill the inevitable was what the Clow priest was meant to do.

"Now, there's a side of Sakura-chan I've never seen before."

"Oh."

"I'm going now!" Sakura called back to her brother as she began to walk out of the room. Her mood was visibly lightened by the familiar exchange with her brother. She glanced back at him and he was smiling fondly. Reassured, Sakura directed her attention to other matters. There was something she needed to talk about with Syaoran and he heart raced at that thought.

As the door closed behind Sakura, the smile slipped from the king's face. "You didn't tell her," there was no accusation. He was merely stating a fact.

"Sakura-chan is very fond of Yukito-san," Fai replied, his usually wide smile becoming softer and kinder to suit the mood of the room. "There wasn't any point in worrying her any more than she already is." Those words voiced out Touya's feelings and his trust for these strangers grew a bit more.

"Thank you for looking out for her," Touya said, first regarding Fai with a tired but grateful smile, then directing the same unspoken expression to Kurogane. He stole a glance at the sleeping form on the other side of the room. "How is he, then? Really?"

"The power of a memory," the Celesian mage walked over to the bed where Yukito lay. "Is incredible, even if you do not have the same amount of power as Sakura." Fai gently brushed a strand of silvery hair away from the high priest's face. Yukito did not even stir. "He's used too much magic while trying to contain your memories. He's fallen into a deep sleep."

Kurogane frowned, "Without the part about memories, that's the same thing you told the girl."

"I didn't lie to Sakura-chan at that time," Fai replied softly. There was a shadow of guilt in those blue eyes that Kurogane did not miss, but decided not to bring up. That was for another day.

"But you didn't tell her everything, either," the ninja added, sure of himself.

"No."

Fai looked distant. "Yuuko-san's price is not to be taken lightly. He could wake up soon; he could die soon. I don't know what will happen," he admitted. "Eriol-san wasn't very clear about what he meant." He felt a presence behind him and was not surprised to see Touya there. He stepped aside to allow the king to take his place beside his high priest. Fai addressed Kurogane. "Perhaps, it's time we left Ou-sama and Yukito-san alone?"

"Hn," was all Fai got out of the ninja, but body language said the taller man agreed.

They did not wait for an answer or a dismissal from the king. They both knew that this was necessary and neither hesitated to tell the servants not to bother the king for a while. There was a bell especially used for summoning servants in the room, anyway.

Alone with his dear friend, Touya felt that he could, no, he needed to let down his guard. He had dared not speak to dismiss the foreigners because his voice would betray him. The idea of Yukito dying was too much, even with his father's reassurances.

He sat on the priest's bedside and took the pale left hand into his right. He interlaced the fingers of the two hands. "Yuki," he spoke softly, as though speaking a wonderful secret that could only be shared by two. "You are not any less important than I am. As you supported me, I should have supported you. I'm so sorry for not doing that."

And Yukito did not respond and his hand seemed so cold and unfeeling, especially since he had always been such a warm and helpful person. The king clutched the other man's hand tighter, as though trying to will heat—and hopefully, life—into the body that owned the other hand.

Touya didn't feel the sobs begin to come out, because they came out unbidden. "Yuki...Please don't leave me alone, not like this..." he whispered harshly, placing his best friend's hand to his lips, as though that was the only connection they had left. "Please...Sakura's going to be leaving soon, as well. I can't live alone. I don't know how."

-

"Fai."

Only one person in the entire Celes could call him by his name with so much authority. The mage froze. Beside him, his creation stopped as he had and looked at him with concern. Fai turned and faced his king with a smile on his face and a slight bow. "Ashura-ou-sama." The girl beside him followed suit with a deeper bow.

"Chii," Ashura-ou addressed the blonde creation with a gentle smile. "I need to talk to Fai."

Chii appeared hesitant so her creator clarified the instruction. "Chii," Fai gave the girl a reassuring smile. "Ashura-ou and I need to talk for a while. Please help the people in the kitchen out in the mean time."

"Okay, Fai-san," Chii began to walk away.

Fai was nervous. Ever since that day that he had found himself pushed onto the floor under Ashura-ou's angry hands, he had never been alone with the king. He kept his gaze low. He kept his posture straight. He couldn't open his mouth to begin the conversation.

"Fai," Ashura-ou directed his magician to look at him with his hands once Chii was out of sight and hearing range. "Please look at me."

Fai did as he was told. He kept a smile on his face as he had always done for his king. "There is something you want to discuss, sire?"

"Come with me."

It was an order Fai could not refuse. He trailed after Ashura-ou who led him to the room where the Celesian sky was most beautiful. It was the very room where Fai had predicted Celes' doom and his impending journey. Celes was a world where nights could last for months and so the stars were almost always out. Fai knew Ashura-ou had avoided that room because of the fortunes the stars were telling them.

When they got there, Ashura-ou didn't need to make any gestures to direct Fai's attention to the stars. "Fai, as powerful as a sorcerer that you are, not even you can change what has already been written in the stars," the king began, his voice low and soothing in Fai's ear.

Fai trembled slightly, but said nothing.

"What must happen will happen," Ashura-ou continued. "The inevitable will always catch up with us no matter what we do." He took the smaller man into his arms, an act that was not uncommon among people of Celes who cared for each other in any way; but an act uncommon for the king because of his status as a god. "I don't want you to do what you have to do, but I know that you will do it not because you want to, but because you have to." A long pause and then, " I'm sorry for what happened the other day."

"It's all right, Ashura-ou," Fai leaned into the familiar embrace. His action was more the response than his actual words. _I can't fulfill your wishes and that is even more unforgivable. But, even so, I'm very sorry. You saved me and took care of me for a purpose, and I have always lived for you since then and for that day that I could give you what you want, but now..._

"Once you do what you have to do you will still be considered a traitor to Celes because you went against the wishes of the king," Ashura-ou clarified. He tightened his hold on his dear friend. The desperation that the king displayed with his motions brought tears to the blond. "But, Fai, remember this before it happens..."

"...what happens after what has to happen is up to you."

A muffled sob escaped magician's lips and his king held him closer, gently urging the tears to end.

-

"Fai."

The mage was startled. In his life, there were only two people that could call his name with such authority and one of them was sealed in a watery tomb. "Kuro-sama?"

"Stop thinking."

Despite himself, Fai chuckled lightly. Sometimes, Kurogane was frighteningly perceptive and was honest about what he perceived. While it unnerved him most of the time, he had to admit that he found it refreshing.

-

"Syaoran-kun!" Sakura burst into the young archeologist's room, excitedly. Unfortunately, the room was empty. She sighed, "Oh, he isn't here." She went to the bed, which had already been made, and touched the sheets. "Syaoran-kun sleeps here," she blushed deeply at her own boldness. "Even if he isn't here, this room feels so warm because he stays here."

The Clow princess smiled fondly through her reddened cheeks. "And if he had been here," she mused, "I wonder how I would say it. I should just come right out and say—"

An unexpected shock went through Sakura's entire body and she passed out.

It was only a few minutes later that Syaoran returned to his room to find Sakura.

"Sakura-hime?" Syaoran's face turned several shades of red before turning a peculiar shade of purple at the sight of his princess lying on his bed, asleep. He was initially worried, but his worries were eased when he saw the gentle rise and fall of Sakura's chest.

Then, worry was replaced by fear. In other worlds, Sakura sleeping in a room he had occupied was fine, but in Clow country, it was inexcusable. He approached his bed, swallowing the nervous lump in his throat. As he sat beside the princess and gently shook her awake, he inwardly panicked and expected the king to pop out from under the bed. Oh, yes, this was one of those things that the king would have his head for.

"Sakura-hime?" Syaoran called out again.

Sakura stirred and unfocused green eyes peeked at Syaoran. "Syaoran-kun?"

Still no king, still no threats of being beheaded. So far, so good. Syaoran smiled gently at the princess. "Are you alright, Sakura-hime? What are you doing here?"

Sakura glanced around as she sat up. "I'm in..." she blinked uncertainly. "...Syaoran-kun's room?"

Syaoran nodded, then blushed when Sakura leaned her head against his shoulder, "Hime?"

"I was..." Sakura sounded unsteady and confused. As he mind cleared, she began to speak a bit more quickly. "I was going to tell you something."

There was despair in Sakura's voice as she spoke the next few words, "But I can't remember what it was."

_**-**_

_Oh well, no teasers this time. This has a happy ending for everybody, I promise. I've been doing one too many sad endings and TRC is already too angsty as it is._


	14. Chapter 14

_Word for the day: draaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaag... XD Sorry. _

**XIV**

By the time Touya fell asleep, he had exhausted himself by crying and trying to talk his best friend into waking up. He fell asleep like that, kneeling beside the bed, a cold, unresponsive, white hand in his. His dreams were no longer about his past, but of a possible future filled with regret and despair. Needless to say, Touya slept fitfully.

But as the king slept, a pale glow began to emanate from the boy beside him. The room was bathed in a silvery light that looked like moonlight and a magical circle appeared, surrounding the two men in some kind of protective embrace.

When Touya woke up, disturbed by both the light and the stirrings of magic, he found himself staring deep into golden eyes that watched him silently.

"Yuki?" Touya blinked. Was he dreaming? The whole scene was so dream-like.

Yukito's hand squeezed Touya's gently. "To-ya," the high priest murmured quietly. Then, he tugged lightly at his king, urging him to get up from the floor and sit on the bed. "If you sleep like that, you'll get cramps." It was a mild reminder. And then, "You were having a bad dream, weren't you?"

Dazed, the taller boy could not answer.

The silver-haired boy pulled his friend to his chest, hugging the brunet tightly. "When we were children, whenever I had bad dreams, you'd hold me like this and the bad dreams would go away," he whispered as he guided them down to a position more suitable for sleep.

"Sleep, To-ya..."

And, in Yukito's arms, the bad dreams did go away.

-

Touya woke up in his own bed as one of the servants came in to bring him breakfast. "Where's Yuki?" he demanded without thinking. The servant blinked at him, surprised and a bit terrified. When the king caught himself, he shook his head. "I'm sorry, Ascot," he apologized in a softer tone. "How is the high priest?"

"Yukito-sama?" Ascot glanced uncertainly at the sleeping youth in the bed at the other end of the room. "He's still..." he looked nervous, never having spoken to the king in such a close environment and not knowing how to describe the state of the high priest. "...He's still there." The young servant finished uncertainly.

_A dream? It was just a dream, after all..._

Touya stared at his hands balled into fists on his lap. "I thought for sure..."

"He'll wake up soon, your majesty," Ascot, uncharacteristically emboldened for some strange reason, placed a hand over Touya's. "Just believe..."

"_Believe in the future."_

"_Break through and he will live."_

It was like Touya was faced with his father once again. He stared at the lanky servant in front of him blankly. When Ascot realized what he was doing, he quickly pulled back, blushing furiously. "I'm sorry, Ou-sama, I don't know what came over me."

"It's alright," Touya was more composed, so his reply came out dignified and detached. But his smile said he was more than grateful.

-

"Syaoran?"

Syaoran snapped out of whatever stupor he had been in during the entire breakfast. Sakura and Mokona had a breakfast meeting with a few nobles much earlier so the rest of the dimension travelers were left alone. This had given Syaoran a venue to think about what had happened the night before. But, he had, apparently mulled things over for too long.

"I'm sorry. What was that, Fai-san?"

"He was asking if you want to leave soon," Kurogane relayed as he studied the boy closely.

Fai nodded, looking Syaoran over with concern. "Mokona should be able to use his magic completely now. We should be able to leave whenever we want or need to."

"We've been here long enough and the king's awake, now," the ninja added. It wasn't that he didn't like Clow kingdom. He would actually prefer it if the kids got to stay in this place longer, because it was their home. But, they had something to accomplish. The kid needed to collect the feathers; he needed to get back to Japan; and Fai...

...Fai had already stopped in one place much longer than he would without becoming unsettled.

"I'll ask Sakura if she's ready," Syaoran responded gravely. He didn't know how he felt about the matter, anyway. Clow kingdom reminded him too much of what he had given up, but in this place, Sakura remembered him. _Although she's slowly beginning to forget again._

Fai placed a hand on Syaoran's, "We already spoke to the princess."

"Then we'll go by what she says," Syaoran replied softly. The princess probably wants to stay longer. She's probably worried about Touya-Ou and Yukito-san.

"She told us that she's leaving the decision to you," Kurogane sounded exasperated. He thought back to their conversation the night before. After the Clow king's awakening was announced to the public, Sakura had asked if they wanted to move on. Fai had asked in return if Sakura wanted to leave.

"_I'll go if Syaoran-kun is willing. Syaoran-kun doesn't have a reason to leave and so many reasons to stay. Part of me wants to stay here and resume my life. But, another part of me wants to find all my memories before returning. And also..."_

"Sakura-chan believes that you are the one best suited to make the decision," Fai explained, his eyes filled with tenderness, as if trying to convey some kind of impalpable comfort. "We think so, too. You should do what you want to do." He glanced questioningly at Kurogane who grunted affirmation.

Syaoran nodded absent-mindedly. As much as he wanted to stay, he already promised the princess that he would get all of her feathers back no matter what the cost. That was more important to him. Other than Sakura, he had no home to return to in this country, anyway. "We'll go as soon as possible. I should go tell the king," he decided, standing up and leaving the dining room.

"You didn't tell him why the princess wants to go," Kurogane stated when he was left alone with the magician. He was neither accusing nor condoning. He was just stating the fact.

" 'Part of me wants to stay here and resume my life. But, another part of me wants to find all my memories before returning. And also, I want to collect all my memories of Syaoran-kun.' That's what the princess said," Fai narrated to no one in particular. He put on a lopsided grin as he ran a hand through his hair. "She's starting to forget. She's paying the price that Syaoran-kun paid, as well. Soon, she will not remember anything about what previously happened in this world. _He _will probably forget, as well."

"The kid?"

Fai kept his back turned to Kurogane, knowing that his facial expression—this one so filled with sadness and guilt over so many hidden secrets—would betray him once again. "Wouldn't that be for the best? Even if it's just that small part that turns out right?"

They were silent, just like that: Kurogane scrutinizing Fai and Fai hiding his face from Kurogane. The weight of the moment kept both of them trapped under it in an impasse. Kurogane was the first to break free. "If you're hiding something..."

"The children are very important, Kuro-sama," Fai interrupted the question he was quite certain he didn't want to answer. "I would do what I could to protect them."

And because the first part of Fai's claim was so sincerely spoken and spoke volumes about the value of the children to Fai, Kurogane hoped that the second part of Fai's claim would also hold true. Secrets he may have, Kurogane had long resolved that Fai cared about the children more than he would ever admit.

-

For the first time in his life, Syaoran knocked on the door of Touya-Ou's chambers. He had to admit, he was intimidated. He was even a bit scared wondering briefly if the king had surveillance measures that would reveal the 'Sakura-hime was in Syaoran's room' episode from the night before. He may have faced a lot of monsters and skilled fighters from different lands, but for some reason, he was still afraid of his best friend's older brother. No servant came to the door and Syaoran was almost relieved by this.

Perhaps the king wasn't in?

"Come in," the king's voice was a bit muffled by the large doors, but Syaoran would never mistake that voice for anyone else's.

"Your majesty?" Syaoran wondered how he would introduce himself.

"Oh, it's you."

Apparently, Syaoran needed no introductions anymore. The king knew him well. And, while the greeting was less than friendly, it was not as forbidding as Syaoran remembered. "I'm sorry, but may I speak with you?"

"You may," Touya-Ou replied.

Syaoran peeked into the room and saw the magnificent bed that the king slept in. It was empty and had already been made, which indicated that the king had been out of bed for some time. By the window, however, was another bed which was far from empty. In the bed was the sleeping high priest. The king sat on a chair beside the occupied bed, watching over his best friend. What exactly had happened, Syaoran did not want to ask. He did not know how he would explain to the others why he didn't remember whatever he did in the desert. All that he gathered from the public announcements made to the people was that Yukito-sama was involved in an accident while protecting the princess and the king. What "accident" meant was beyond Syaoran, but he was sure that it had something to do with Sakura's feather.

"It's rude to stare, kid," Touya-Ou regarded Syaoran blandly. "Come inside."

"I'm sorry," the archeologist blushed, embarrassed by his own behavior. He had barely taken a step further into the room when his missing eye began to throb. _Not here...Please not here..._ Syaoran begged the gods for some kind of intervention. Just as he was about to lose it, a warm feeling came over him and put him back in control. At the same time that his eye began to throb, a pale silver light surrounded the sleeping high priest. That light was what was giving Syaoran a warm feeling. It felt as if some broken part of him was being patched up, albeit temporarily.

"Yuki?" Touya was so distracted by the occurrences involving his friend that he did not even notice the brief change in his guest's demeanor. "Is this another dream?"

The light faded as suddenly as it came and Syaoran barely had the nerve to speak, "Yukito-sama...?"

"You saw it, too, right?" Touya's expression was heartbreaking and desperate as he scanned the figure on the bed for further signs of life. "It wasn't a dream, I wasn't dreaming!"

"I saw it..." Syaoran answered, his fears fading as he was faced with the fact that the king was also a person who longed for nothing but to protect the ones that he loved. "You weren't dreaming."

As if just realizing that Syaoran was there, Touya spun around to face the young archeologist. He flushed red as it crashed down on him that he had just shown weakness to the one person he had to be most stern with. But, even the boy had seen Yukito's magic. Head lowered, he evaded his discomfiture. "You came to talk about something."

"Touya-Ou..." Syaoran hesitated revealing what he had to say to the king who was in such a miserable state. But still, this was better than leaving without prior notice. "...It's about our journey."

"You'll be leaving soon," Touya didn't need to ask. He knew. Sakura leaving a second time was something he had an easier time coming to terms with than being left alone. "When?"

"As soon as possible."

Touya wanted Sakura to stay with him, but he couldn't be selfish. He was still, above all his desires, an older brother and king. His sister and Clow's princess needed to do something, so he would have to let her do that and wait patiently for her return. He needed to prepare a home for her to return to. He shook off the shame and sadness and met the brown-eyed gaze. "I understand."

Syaoran smiled kindly at the king. "Yukito-sama—even in that state—obviously cares about you, Ou-sama."

"I know," Touya smiled back. "Even if this cold body no longer seems to be him, I believe that deep inside, Yukito is still Yukito and he will come back."

Preparing to leave, Syaoran bowed respectfully. He hoped for the high priest's recovery while pushing away the feeling of foreboding that the king's words brought into his heart.

-

"Sakura-chan, may I speak with you for a moment?"

Sakura looked up from the yet to be passed law one of the advisers had given to her to study and check. She couldn't make heads or tails of it with all the legal jargon, and she knew that the council of advisers had given her that task because it would take her time to sort through it. It wasn't that they didn't want her to do anything; it was just that things would be easier for everyone if she was kept out of the way. Reading the law was also a learning experience for the young princess, so it wasn't so bad. With Mokona by her side, cheering her on, it was quite alright.

Sakura smiled brightly and motioned for Fai to enter the study. "Of course, Fai-san."

"Fai!" Mokona jumped towards the magician.

Fai laughed as he caught Mokona and hugged the little creature, before addressing Sakura. "Syaoran-kun said we should leave soon," Fai explained as he sat in front of the table filled with the scrolls the princess had been studying. For some reason, Sakura's face fell but she said nothing. Realizing that the princess needed to sort things out in private, Fai glanced towards the door where he knew Kurogane was. He turned his attention to the _manjuu _again. "Mokona, I think Kuro-pon needs some company. Maybe you should go to him."

Mokona looked concerned, sensing Sakura's sudden sadness. "But, Fai..."

"It will be all right, Mokona."

Kurogane grunted as Mokona left Fai's arms to bounce up to him. "Kuro-pii!"

"Stop calling me those stupid names, you damned white meatbun!"

When they were gone, Fai turned back to Sakura's lowered gaze, which was filled with guilt. "Syaoran-kun is still coming with us?" Always hesitating to go after what she wanted and needed because she knew it would always be Syaoran going after those things for her, this was Sakura's dilemma. She felt guilty that Syaoran's life seemed to revolve around her. Now that Syaoran had a chance to live his own life, he still chose to go with her. "Why?"

Fai placed a gentle hand on Sakura's. "You're very important to Syaoran-kun, Sakura-chan." When Sakura did not pass out, he smiled at he reassuringly. The seal on her memories was not fully in place, yet.

"I wish I could be less of a bother to him," Sakura began to cry bitterly. "I wish I could do something more than smile, worry, and cheer him on. Syaoran-kun is always getting hurt because of me."

"And it hurts to watch him, doesn't it?" Fai stood up from where he was and embraced the weeping girl. He recognized his past reassurances in Sakura's words. Sakura's kind heart was making collecting her feathers very difficult for her. To keep going on a mission that breaks your heart every step of the way was something Fai understood. He felt for the princess and searched his mind for comfort to give. "You get hurt, too, because of Syaoran-kun. Every time he gets hurt, you get hurt, too, am I correct?"

Sakura said nothing in response, only clutching at Fai tighter.

"It is your wish to recover all your feathers and it is Syaoran-kun's wish to accompany you," Fai ventured on. He pulled away so he could look Sakura straight in the eye. "A wish that cannot be granted is always more painful than the scrapes you get while you fight for that wish." That was a fact the mage knew from experience.

Still hesitating, still reluctant, Sakura stepped away from Fai, drying her tears. "I understand, Fai-san," she murmured. "I should go break the news to Touya." She thanked Fai and went on her way. Fai merely waved after her.

Fai looked down at his hands. "A wish that cannot be granted..." he felt the tiny pieces of his broken heart crack a little at the memory of the wish he was not able to grant for someone who had given him so much. "Sakura-chan, Syaoran-kun's heart's wish is to be by your side, always. His sole purpose in life is to go on this journey with you. And somehow, I can see why that is so painful for you, Sakura-chan."

-

Syaoran had just closed the door to Touya-Ou's room when he looked up to find Sakura approaching. Seeing her again made all the memories of seeing her asleep in his room in Clow country _in Touya-Ou's palace_, no less.

Syaoran immediately turned beet red.

"Syaoran-kun!" Sakura walked up to him, trying to put more cheer into her greeting than she felt.

Syaoran being Syaoran, immediately got a reign on his raging hormones and focused on the sadness in the princess' voice, "Princess."

Noticing that Syaoran had just come from her brother's room, Sakura did not need to feign surprise. "You spoke with my brother?"

"I told him that we're leaving," Syaoran replied, still trying to place the expression that Sakura was trying to hide under her smile. When he placed it to be distress or hesitation, he placed his hands on her shoulders and said, "Are you sure about this, princess? Are you ready to leave? I can speak with the king again—"

"Is it okay with you, Syaoran-kun?" Sakura interrupted, fixing her eyes on Syaoran's chest. She couldn't meet his eyes. She couldn't look at his kind stare. She couldn't let him see what she was feeling. "Is it all right with you? To leave again, is it okay?"

Syaoran blinked, not expecting the question. "Princess?" he realized what she meant. He realized her pain and her hesitation and he was touched. He wanted to hold her. He wanted to show her that he would be with her; that he wanted to be with her. He stole a glance at the door of Touya-Ou's room and decided to just use his eyes to convey his feelings. He directed the princess' face so she was looking him in the eye. "This is what I want, Sakura-hime."

Sakura studied his face intently. The honest determination and that little something that always told her that Syaoran-kun would always come back to her, these things convinced her of his sincerity. "Thank you, Syaoran-kun," she whispered, a smile finally lighting up her face. She stepped away, blushing slightly when she saw their closeness. Her heart fluttered in her chest from a nameless emotion that she felt exclusively for Syaoran. "I—I need to talk to my brother now."

The blush of the princess reminded Syaoran of his place and his hormones. His blood rushed to his face. "O—of course, y—you should go talk to the king."

Syaoran watched Sakura enter the king's chambers. He smiled, remembering her feelings towards him. She cared about him even if he wasn't in her memories. He couldn't help but ask whether that was the true nature of the princess or if, even without her memories of the relationship that they once had, Sakura's heart and body still remembered that she loves him. Mokona had said it once, that Sakura's body still remembered their closeness, and so, Syaoran couldn't help but hope.

-

"Oniichan?" Sakura approached her brother who was still seated by his high priest's bed. "How is Yukito-san?"

"He seems a bit warmer," Touya replied softly, his mood seemingly much lighter and less strained than when he had been speaking with the archeologist boy. He knew why his sister had come to his room, so he was sure she was distressed. He could tell that she was worried about leaving him alone and that she was also worried about what lay ahead for all of them. "How have your palace duties been?" he began with an unrelated topic. Sakura would work her way to what she needed to say soon enough.

"It wasn't easy, but your advisers are taking care of most of what needs to be done," Sakura admitted as she sat by her brother and on Yukito's bed. To her, the high priest looked ethereally pale, but she felt that Touya's observation that the other boy was getting warmer was true. "It's as if he will wake up soon."

The Clow siblings were quiet for a while.

"I hope I will be able to say goodbye to him," Sakura said in a low voice that required only the amount of strength that she could muster. She looked up at her brother when her hand was covered by his large more tanned one. "Oniichan?"

"If you wish for something hard enough, if you are determined to get it," Touya spoke assuredly, as if predicting his sister's future. "You will get it. That is your gift. You are that kind of person, Sakura."

While the king had been talking about Sakura's quest to find her feathers, Sakura began to pray for something else. She clasped Yukito's hand to her chest. She prayed that the high priest wake up so that Touya would not be alone. As she closed her eyes and wished, a magic circle surrounded the three of them.

"_Sakura-hime?" _

"Yukito-san, please wake up," Sakura pleaded.

-

_Hope that wasn't as bad as I thought it was. One more chapter to go and then an epilogue. Thanks to everyone who's reading this and I'm so sorry for dragging the story along like this. I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Reviews are always appreciated. Be critical if you feel like you need to be._

_Thanks again. Will reply to reviews privately. 3 _


	15. Chapter 15

_Thanks to those who reviewed this fic! Here's the final chapter._

_This chapter is kinda long to match the time it took for me to write the first part of it. Ironically, the last part of it had been written long before the rest of this fic. XD_

**XV**

He placed his hand on the cool glass and with a small amount of magic, the glass changed into a window to the country of Clow. A small smile touched his lips when he laid eyes on and his blue eyes gleamed mysteriously at the sight of a silver-haired youth asleep on a bed. "I know that it wasn't time for them to return to that place and that there is a price for my sending them there," Eriol addressed the woman who had barely stepped into the room. "But, it was the only way to help that priest and that king."

"It's not like you to get involved."

"I'm not the same as the person you once knew, Yuuko-san," Eriol explained smiling at the witch who approached the window to stand beside him. "Even though you are right." He studied her as she stood there and was a bit surprised to see the multitude of emotions in Yuuko's eyes as she watched the scene projected on the mirror. He followed her gaze to see Sakura sitting there, clutching Yukito's hand. "It's not like you to get involved, either."

Yuuko smiled a small rueful smile, "Their decisions affect all of us. Their actions are shaking the worlds."

"But that isn't why you have that look in your eyes," Eriol pointed out.

"Even if you say so," Yuuko sighed and gave Eriol a withering stare. "Sometimes, it's so easy to forget that you're not _him_."

At that, the young boy laughed.

-

"I know that you will not understand," Ashura-Ou spoke softly as he gently held his adopted child. They were once again gazing up at the stars, very much familiar with the omens and darkness that were foretold in that sky. "But it is important for you to know that you must live beyond your purpose in this world..." he paused, smiling wryly. "...All the worlds."

Fai blinked up at the older man. His blue eyes were clouded with worry. "Ou-sama?" Seeing his concerned gaze, the Celesian king's face softened and he pulled the blond closer to him, kissing the boy's hair. "Why are you speaking this way, Ou-sama?"

"Because you have always thought that your place is beside me, protecting the people of Celes," Ashura-Ou replied cryptically. "Even if we both know that you are going on a journey."

"If I could choose, I would not go," Fai leaned further into his adoptive father's embrace. "I cannot fulfill your wish if I am far away."

"But even if your journey is about to begin," Ashura-Ou finally let the younger man go. "You will be fulfilling my heart's desire soon..." he smiled knowingly.

"...My heart's desire and yours, as well."

-

Fai stared at the mess of bags and baskets the servants were busying themselves with. Kurogane stood beside him watching the activity impassively. "Touya-Ou is very kind to be packing so many things for us," the blond commented lightly, his casual tone reflected a distance that said his mind wasn't present and he was making conversation for the sake of the sense normalcy he was used to putting up.

Kurogane merely grunted distractedly, matching Fai's detachment. They stood there, silent but not really paying attention to anything else other than each other's mood. Not comfortable with the scrutiny, Fai stretched his arms high above his head and turned away from the goings-on. "Well, it looks like we're really leaving, doesn't it?" he began to step away. "Maybe we'll land in your world next, Kuro-pon." The magician had come to notice how sentimental the Japanese man could be when it came to his home. Mentioning the possibility of returning to Nihon should have kept the ninja in a fluffy flashback and well away from him.

But, Fai was underestimating Kurogane's presence of mind.

"The next world," the darker man rumbled so that Fai was the only one who both heard and understood him. "I don't care what it is, I'm ready to move on. Are you?" Blue eyes widened a bit. A slender back stiffened somewhat. But these didn't last for more than a moment that only Kurogane could perceive. He knew he had struck a cord when the other man remained silent and certain that his voice would betray him. So, Kurogane continued to speak. "Have you found a reason, now? A reason to move forward?"

With an artificial smile thrown over his shoulder, Fai answered breezily, "I don't know what you're talking about, Kuro-wan."

Kurogane knew well that Fai was well aware that he was pertaining to the hanging end to their conversation only a few nights ago. He didn't need to remind the blond. "By the time we get to the next world, you better start living."

Fai blinked, amusedly. He tilted his head to one side. "But I don't really understand it. I'm very much alive right now, aren't I?"

The ninja huffed, annoyed. He was not going to press the issue any further. "Do what you want," he muttered as he brushed past the Celesian on the way to his own room to pack up.

"Living," Fai's blue eyes darkened slightly, and the edges of his lips curled to a more sinister smile. "What does it really mean? Do you live when you sleep?"

Kurogane's frown deepened when he heard the magician muttering. He had spent a great deal of time with the mage during their journey, but the short few days they spent in Clow taught the ninja far more about the blond than the rest of the trip. He thought he had begun to understand Fai in Yama, when a drunk Fai had looked up at him with unguarded eyes and spoke with heartbreaking honesty in a tongue Kurogane didn't understand. But when they reached Rekord, he realized that he had barely scraped the surface. But, now that he saw that the mage was human, after all, he felt that the other man was also someone to protect.

-

"Will you be alright?" Sakura asked Touya over breakfast. It was the first time in days that the king had ventured out of his bedroom.

Touya nodded. "What made you ask that?" he grinned at his younger sister playfully. "It'll probably be better for the kingdom if a big eater like you weren't around. We'd have more food." When the light banter did not distract the girl enough from whatever worried her, the older brother decided it had to be serious. "Sakura, tell me what's wrong."

The princess stared down at her food for a while. "Yukito-san, he hasn't woken up, yet and we're leaving later today."

"Yukito will come back to us, I know it," Touya answered with finality. His voice was as strong as his faith in his friend. "You have a lot of things to worry about as it is, Sakura, let me worry about things here."

"But..." Sakura began to protest.

Touya's smile was supportive and reassuring. "When you return, Yukito and I will have Clow in one piece waiting for you."

Sakura's brow furrowed for a moment, debating with herself whether or not she should allow her concerns to be quelled. She finally returned her brother's smile and nodded. "Thanks, oniichan." They continued their meal quietly for a while until Sakura seemed to remember something. "Oniichan?"

"Hm?" Touya's mouth was still full, but he acknowledged her call.

"I didn't see Yukito-san in the room," the princess said.

_See_ to the king meant that Sakura did not see Yukito's ghost. It was her way of telling Touya that the high priest was still alive. "I know," Touya replied. "Because Yukito will wake up."

-

"_I would do what I can to protect them."_

Fai's own words haunted him as he took out the small volume he had been keeping underneath his Celes robes. It was already late afternoon and he had spent most of the day thinking about it. There was a determined look on his face as he traced the markings on the cover. He had seen those markings so many times on Sakura's feathers that he could draw them without a problem if he wanted to.

He smiled briefly, albeit in a melancholic manner, at the memories he had of that country where he had gotten this tome. That was the first time he had used his magic in a long time. The mage wondered what had made him do that despite the fact that, at the darker parts of his mind, he already knew why.

Fai opened the book and leafed through the blank pages, lovingly caressing each page. He imagined what part of his life would be written there. A pale blue light emanated from the book as he continued to leaf through it.

It was a fanciful fantasy, wasn't it? Sometimes, he thought that Kurogane was there to accompany him and neither going on his own mission nor aiding in Syaoran and Sakura's quest, his personal ninja to protect him and take him away. _He will be coming for me soon_, he thought. It wasn't clear, even to him, who he was thinking about. Whether it was the king he had left behind or the dark knight who had been accompanying them all this time. _Before things fall apart..._

A knock on his door, "Oi, you mage, you in there?"

"Before it's too late," Fai insisted to himself. He had not been doing any divining lately, especially not his own future, but he already had a feeling that darkness was about to envelop them soon. His lies were catching up with him one by one. "I'm in here, Kuro-pon."

Kurogane let himself in. "The kids are saying their goodbyes. We'll be leaving soon."

"I know," Fai clutched the book in his hands a bit tighter.

The ninja was about to leave when he noticed the volume in Fai's hands and the peculiar expression on the pale face. He stayed by the door, waiting for some kind of signal from the smaller man. Fai, for his part, was extremely hesitant about what he wanted to do.

When Fai closed the book, the all-too-familiar cover was shown to Kurogane, "That's the Book of Memories." He frowned. "I thought you said that without the feather powering the original one, it was useless."

"I've been supplying this one with a small amount of magic to keep its power," Fai explained smiling brightly, his expression threatening to crack under the pressure of the forced smile. "I thought it would come in handy one day."

There was a large amount of suspicion in his scrutinizing red gaze, but the Japanese man said nothing other than, "Well, let's go." He began to leave the room, turning his back and closing the door.

"Kuro-sama," Fai called the other man back. He walked over, but didn't hold out the book. He wanted to offer it to the ninja. He wanted to show his past to someone, so someone would understand him before things completely went awry because of his many secrets. This was a moment that may or may not be repeated in the future if the ninja refused him. His many secrets were not pretty to look at. Given the chance, he would not look at them, himself, but he had to. And, before it was too late...

Kurogane stared at the book, for a moment unsure of what to make of things. He had seen Fai leafing through it earlier. That meant that if Kurogane were to open the book, he would be given a front row seat to the magician's past.

The ninja placed a hand on the book, then pushed it gently towards Fai's chest. "If you're not ready to tell me anything with your own voice, don't tell me in any other way. I don't care about your past." He led the magician out of the room and to the place where the kids were. "You should stop looking back there, too."

"Kurogane-san, Fai-san!" Syaoran greeted the pair as they walked up to the party assembled at the main hall.

Almost everyone was there, Touya, Chiharu and Yamazaki and the other guards, Naoko and the other engineers, the palace servants, and a large number of Clow residents. The large hall was brimming with people. The high priest was still asleep, but his promise to awaken soon filled the Clow siblings with a lot of hope.

"We'll be going now," Sakura told her brother. She hugged him, tears in her eyes.

"Stop crying," Touya brushed away the tears. "You and that brat will be back before you know it. In the mean time, Yukito and I will be waiting for you to return."

Fai placed a gentle hand on the princess' shoulder. "At least you get to say goodbye this time, Sakura-chan."

"Uhm," Sakura nodded.

"Take care of them," Touya addressed Kurogane and then fixed the foreign magician and the archeologist's son with a pointed glare. Syaoran somehow managed to pale a bit and turn an odd shade of red at the look the king was giving him. Fai laughed shortly at that.

"Mokona Modoki can't wait!"

As the magical threads rose up from the ground, Sakura and Syaoran waved at everyone they were going to leave and, hopefully, return to after a while. Fai turned to Sakura just as the magic began to change their surroundings. "Once we're swallowed up by Mokona, you will lose all memories you have of Syaoran-kun," he whispered into her ear. Fai's verbal cue and, perhaps, a small amount of magical intervention reminded the princess of the things that transpired in Clow.

"Kaaaaaaaaaaa..."

"I know," Sakura looked sad and then gripped the gloved hand of her dear childhood friend. Syaoran turned to her, wondering why she had done such a thing. She smiled up at him, "Thank you for everything, Syaoran." As the magic rose around them she felt herself getting drowsy. She knew that the moment she woke up, she would have no recollection about all that had transpired in Clow Country those past few days. She desperately tried to say the three most important words she needed to tell her beloved. "I..." but Yuuko's magic overtook her and she fell forward into Syaoran's arms, once again asleep.

"...Puuuuuuuu!"

"I know," Syaoran lightly kissed Sakura's hair as he caught her. "I know, Sakura. I love you, too." Tears began to fall from his good eye.

Fai watched the pair, both envious of the honesty and understanding and guilty for knowing what difficulties lay ahead for them. Kurogane watched Fai, wondering what secrets the magician had refused to tell but was almost willing to let him witness.

The magician noticed that he was being watched, so he met the crimson gaze. He said something that sounded like gibberish. Was Fai speaking in his own tongue despite Mokona?

"Whatever," Kurogane grunted as he turned away. But, the look in those blue eyes made him smile. It was one of the few times Fai looked straight into his eyes without being forced to.

As the five floated through time and space—Mokona leading the way, Kurogane holding on to the unconscious Sakura was flanked by Syaoran and Fai protecting him and their sole female companion—they were met by a curious being that looked like a mime dressed in a court jester's outfit.

"Watch out, everyone!" Mokona warned as they passed the being. The being was not human. It was, like Mokona, created. The white manjuu recognized that at first encounter.

Kurogane held Sakura tighter, but was a bit surprised when the mime opened its arms for them. He glared when the mime approached his magician companion. "Don't let it near you, you idiot!"

"Did he send you?" Fai inquired as he allowed the mime to caress his cheek. His blue eyes went blank as the mime dissipated into magical confetti that bathed the dimension travelers. In Clow, the same magical confetti fell out of the tear in space and covered those who had come to watch the princess and her companions leave for their quest. It looked like miraculous glittering rain from the empty sky that temporarily distracted the people who mourned for their princess' second departure.

An errant sparkle found its way to Touya's room where Yukito slept. Touching the high priest's forehead, it made the body glow and once the glow died, Yukito awoke, not remembering that the princess and her friends ever returned to visit Clow.

-

The magical circle around Eriol faded and he set the card in his hand down on the table between him and Yuuko. The card had a picture of the mime-jester that had met with the dimensional travelers. "The 'Erase' card," Yuuko read the name of the card as she picked it up. "The one that erases anything. Even memories." the dimensional witch sat in front of Eriol as Watanuki came in to serve them sake.

Watanuki frowned. "Should he be drinking? He doesn't even look fifteen!"

"Would you make him tea, then?" Yuuko asked, but Watanuki already knew that it was order that he really should not refuse. He stomped out of the room and into the kitchen leaving Eriol and Yuuko alone.

Eriol primly took a sip of the sake in his cup. "Whether or not they remember the events that took place in that world, the bonds established cannot be broken. The feelings that have been shown cannot be taken back."

"With what you've done," Yuuko took a swig from the sake bottle itself. "You just barely breached the amount of interference that we are allowed."

"Not quite," Eriol chuckled, tilting his head just so, so that the shine of his glasses would obscure his eyes. "I am a person different from Clow Reed."

"So why?" Yuuko questioned again. She had a vague idea what the answer was, but Clow's strange nature had been inherited by this reincarnation in front of her so that her vague idea was most probably leaning more to 'wrong'.

"When everything falls apart, they must stay together with the bonds that were formed here," Eriol replied simply. He seemingly produced out of thin air a darkly colored book with intricate designs on the cover and handed it to Yuuko. The boy smiled sweetly. "Here is my payment for your help. Now, information also has a price, so to know my wishes, you have to give compensation."

Yuuko frowned irately as she accepted the book, "You're stingy." She opened the book and, instead of a page, found a compartment filled to the brim with cards much like the one Eriol had just used. She placed the Erase card inside the book, reuniting it with its brothers as she grinned with satisfaction. "Clow cards. These will do."

"I know," Eriol took another sip of his sake. "These may not be as powerful as the ones Sakura-chan has, but they will do the job."

"And the guardians?"

"Sleeping until necessary."

The two sorcerers heard the whistling of the kettle that Watanuki had boiled water for tea in so they ended their transaction and conversation right then and there. No one else needed to hear.

-

_Gah... I thought I'd be better at endings given the number of fics I've written, but apparently, not. Hahah... I appreciate the reviews, though. If I get enough, I'll probably post the Epilogue just to show you which world I envisioned the group would go to after this. But, I figure it's pretty easy to figure out._

_I'm planning on picking up __**The Soul in the Sword**__ again next, so I ask everyone to please check its first chapters out._

_That said, thanks for reading! I hope it was enjoyable._

_- paris_


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